Father of Mine
by potionsmaster
Summary: Draco-sympathizers will like this one, methinks. ^_~ From dark to darker, what can I say? Our favourite Dark Lord pays a little visit for the holidays...
1. Rightful Father

Father of Mine

Author: potionsmaster

Rating: PG for swearing

Feedback: Much appreciated

PoV: Draco's

I couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts. This summer at home finally crossed the border from mere unnerving to downright terrifying. Lucius (I refuse to call him 'Father' or 'Dad' anymore) was excited...I was to make my initiation to the Dark Circle. Such a delightful time and all, I couldn't _wait_ to go. Yeah, right, who'm I fooling? I nearly fucking collapsed in fear when I set eyes on the Dark Lord for the first time. _Damn_, much as I hate to admit it, Potter had guts to face him for about 5 years in a row.

Anyway, I now have this dull pain on my arm and a deep, bloody red insignia burned onto it. Joy. I can't exactly talk to Lucius about my problems, because he'll never understand. "Draco, serving our Master is a great honour and I don't want to hear you complain about it again," he'll say. And that's if he's in a good mood. If he's in a _bad_ mood...::shudders:: I'd rather not state it, it would burn the paper I write it on. I can't wait to get away from here, to where my REAL father is. I can tell him anything, talk without being afraid of '...not being a man, not being a Malfoy...' Heaven forbid that I have feelings. 

If I feel like punching somebody, my real father is there, holding the pillow until I calm down or tire myself out. If I want to talk about fears, he's always there with some ready advice. When I want to cry, he stays by me and listens quietly, allowing me privacy from the rest of the dunderhead school. He doesn't exactly enjoy our talks about girls and the problems with them, but still he listens. He knows if he doesn't, who will? We've even had some good laughs together, he and I, just like a real father and son are supposed to. When my dreams are troubled and tormented, he stays up the night. Just for me.

The train ride to Hogwarts just isn't the same until I've annoyed Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood at least once, which I do. The two Boulders that are my 'friends' do nothing but grunt and crack their knuckles. Ever the fucking idiots. Weasley turns as red as his hair (quite a sight to see, if you ask me), Granger buries her nose in a book (big surprise _there_), and Potter goes and gets all 'noble' on me, the prick. I had half a mind to throw a punch at him, but then again, I didn't want to get in trouble on my first night back and I'm sure my true father wouldn't want me to, either. 

As usual, the Great Hall is spectacular. To a first year, anyway, it's old to the rest of us at Hogwarts. The grubby hat sings its stupid song for the year, blah blah blah. I catch Father's eye and he nods slightly, showing that he'll be expecting me later that night. Good, I need to talk. I hope he feels like listening. The feast is finally over, now maybe that slut Pansy will leave me alone. I tell Crabbe and Goyle to go on ahead, I'll be along soon. Those two goons can't do anything without being told numerous times; just like their asshole-fathers.

I sweep along the dungeon passageway, robes billowing out menacingly. The torches flicker ominously, perfectly suiting the very essence of the area. Quickly I find myself at his door and let myself in to wait in a comfortable armchair. Squishy, with nice green pillows. He likes green. Most people think that his favourite colour is black, but it's not; it's his second-favourite. Not like anybody really gives a rat's ass about it all the same. I just sit, staring into the fire, contemplating whether I should scream, laugh, or weep first. Not an easy choice, let me tell you. The fire burns lower and lower in the grate until only the glowing embers are left. A tear leaks out of the corner of my eye and I let it fall; what's the point of wiping it away?

A whisper of cloth-on-cloth and that's all I need to know that it's him. "Draco?" he asks softly, "What's wrong?"

"Everything, Professor Snape....everything."

A/N: What say you? Should I add more to it and make it a story? Or should I just post the sequel to it? 'Tis the reader's choice and any comment is much appreciated.

~~potions~~


	2. Safe Haven

Father of Mine: Part II

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Special Thanks to:

Dash: Favourites list? Thank you!! It means alot to me! ^_^

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Dollface: M, lol, no fooling you, is there? Donelley might be cooler, but I stick with dragons more than humans.

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Kimagure : I know exactly how it feels to try and make sense in a sentence when it's so late out...;P

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Sarah: Thank you for the compliments, chica, glad you liked!

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Omniscient: Yea! I'm "insightful"! Usually people describe me as 'perceptive'. Same difference, no?

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Jayde: Here's more, here's more!!! I luv Draco stories too!

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Juliana Black: lol, I'll see what I can do in the romance department for poor li'l Drakie.

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*HUGS to you all!!!*

A/N: This one's not in PoV format; if you prefer if, let me know and I'll go back to it.

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Safe Haven

Draco observed his teacher morosely as Snape made himself comfortable in another armchair. "Everything is a rather vague topic. Perhaps if you broke it down a bit more?" came the soft answer. Draco got out of his chair awkwardly and began pacing. "What _isn't_ royally screwed at the moment, Professor? To be perfectly frank, I went home, got the Dark Mark, nearly pissing in my pants when it happened, and Lucius is a masochist. What more is there to tell?" he demanded, still pacing. Snape's eyes followed him as he processed the barrage of words. 

"Think of it this way, Draco..." Snape said finally, "The worst has happened, now it can only get better."

"Better how?" Draco snapped bitterly as another tear trickled down his cheek. Snape steepled his fingers under his nose, regarding his student cautiously. Times like now were when Draco could head into a free-for-all tailspin, experience had taught him. 

"Think about it: You're away from what you don't like, more or less, at least. You won't be called, as you're in the lower ranks and at school to boot. Here you're safe," Snape ventured. Draco stopped pacing abruptly and faced the dying fire, making golden trails down his pale cheeks where the tears fell. _It's not fair! It's not FAIR!!!_ he screamed in his head, _Why does Potter have it so easy all the time?_ Seeking some way to vent his rage, he spun on his heel to face his mentor. "Safe?" he scoffed, " You Know Who is building his ranks and his strengths slowly, to keep himself off the radar. He could take over Hogwarts in a day and you're trying to convince me that it's _safe_? Don't make me laugh."

Snape's gaze hardened as he stared into stormy grey eyes. "You think I don't know what it's like to be put in your position?" he whispered icily, "Do you honestly believe that nobody else in this world has ever been through the same heartaches as you?" The twin storms abated slightly as the meaning of them sank in. "You mean...you...? You're in it, too?" Draco sputtered, voice raising, "You've been holding out on me! You've been trying to get on my good side so you can just hand me over to Him, aren't you? _Aren't you?_" He was nearing hysterics now. "I _knew_ I shouldn't have come to you! I should have just held it back, like the good little Malfoy I'm s'posed to be! I thought you might be able to HELP me, but NO! You-"

"Listen to me," Snape interrupted, holding up his hands. "_NO_!!" Draco shrieked, throwing fists at him, "_NO!!!NO!!!_" Snape easily blocked the feeble shots and got up out of the chair, brow furrowed. "_No...no..._" The words lost some of their ferocity as Draco forgot trying to punch, flailing his arms, trying to slap, trying to make Snape feel as terrible as he felt. "...no..." the words were lost in the sobs that wracked his lithe body as he buried his face into his teacher's robes, crying for all he was worth. He felt arms wrap gently around him, protecting him. 

"I too was forced to join when I would rather have sat back. However, I'm not a Death Eater, though I bear the brand. Far from it."

Draco's voice was muffled. "Aren't you on the hit list, then? I thought if you refused to answer His calls, you were to die for insubordination."

"I still go to the gatherings as I'm called."

"You're a spy, then?" Draco lifted his face to view Snape's in awe. His teacher nodded his assent. "I'm sorry," Draco whispered. Snape nodded again and let go. "It's all right. You should get to bed; it's late."

Draco rubbed his cheeks with his sleeve, erasing the traces of tears. "Good night, Professor. I'll not betray your secret."

"Thank you. Sleep well."

"I will." Draco left for the Slytherin dorms, smirk firmly in place. No one would be any the wiser.

A/N: I think next I'll deal with Lucius the Masochist! Yea! Go me! *ahem* Right, then, I'll just be on my merry little way...^_~ -potions


	3. The Other Side

Father of Mine, part III

Summary: Draco's musing on mirrors, philosophy, and the title of 'Father' again. O.o Have no clue where this one came from.

PoV: Draco's

A/N: Special thanks are at the bottom of the page. I think I'll switch every other chapter from PoV to 3rd person. I don't think I'll make it a romance, but if anybody wants to make it one, whether it be slash or het (I'll encourage either, heehee!), just E-mail me at _potionsmaster66@home.net_ . I'd be more than happy to let somebody steal the show! ^_^ Now on with the fic...

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The Other Side

Have you ever wondered about what it would be like to be on the opposite side of a mirror? Right would be left, up would be down (in some cases, anyway), front would be back, North would be South...weak would be strong. Cowards might stand up for themselves and others while heroes sit and weep. Black could be white, pure could be evil. Everything would be contrary unto itself. I'm sitting on the sink in the bathroom, gazing into the mirror but not really seeing anything. Everyone else is asleep; bully for them. I touch the glass lightly with my fingertips, willing myself to go through it. Doesn't work. And I lose myself in reflective contemplation.

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Lucius never cared that much for his wife. Narcissa tried and tried to conceive a child, a son, to make her husband happy. Finally, after three years of trying, she's pregnant. Nine months later, exactly on time, an angel was born. Perfect looking, with wispy blonde hair and milky skin. When his eyes opened, they were forget-me-not blue. Lucius nodded his cold approval at the child. Narcissa never could be with child again. Infection had destroyed her. He named the child Draco, dragon_, in hopes that he would grow strong like one._

As the child grew, his eyes turned an unusual shade of greyish-silver and Lucius looked on with indifference, teaching his son with measured patience. He never showed any emotion other than disapproval towards him at home. In public, however, he only showed pride. Draco learned early how to mask his feelings, hide his emotions beneath an unpleasant smirk. The older Draco got, the more precision and excellence was expected of him. Training for the Dark Arts took their toll on him. If he produced a correct spell, he was met with a curt nod. Anything less and he was punished most grievously. Draco felt some sympathy towards the house elves after a while. The beatings grew more regular. It seemed that whenever his father came home angry, he was always to blame for the slightest thing to go wrong. And he had the scars to prove it. 

The pain was never that big of a deal; he could deal with aches and suffering. The worst part was the way Lucius smiled the more he screamed for help.

Sigh. Not wanting to remember, I look deeply into Mirror Draco's eyes and imagine his life. The opposite of my life. Life on the other side.

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His father taught him how to play Quidditch, laughed with him, told him stories of knights in shining armor saving damsels in distress, wiping tears away and fixing scraped knees. His mother is the picture of perfection: Beautiful, vivacious...time never seems to touch her. Her bright peals of laughter ring like silver bells on a snowy Christmas Eve. When he struggled over a particularly complex Charm, his father helped him work through it, encouragement strong. And when he finally conquers it, his father's face is lit with an almost tangible pride. He hugs his son, happiness radiating from the both of them like heat from the sun.

He knew that his father would protect his family at every expense, even die, in order to keep his family from falling into the icy clutches of the Dark Order. He as well would die instead of joining and his friends would too. It was the perfect life to live, full of contentment and bliss. 

That was the definition of a father to me: Someone who wasn't afraid to show affection towards his family, who would enjoy living life and teaching his children the wondrous secrets of the world. I honestly ponder how my life would have turned out if I had been Professor Snape's child; would he be the father I've always wanted? Or would he be just as cruel? Or worse yet, crueler...? He strikes me as a person who could easily snap me in half if he wanted to, from sheer anger. You hardly ever know what he's thinking; he could be cursing you in his mind for all you know and it's bloody _uncomfortable_ while he's staring straight at you and never says a word. Not a single word. 

I'm still touching the mirror, the glass cool beneath my fingers. Too bad I can't actually go through it. To the other side. I guess I'm just going to have to be contented with musing about what could have been...

...and what was.

A/N: So, there you have it. Now for the special thanks and appreciation section. I'm sorry, but there's just so many of you wonderful wonderful peoplings out there who have the patience to read this ***_BEAR HUGS TO YOU ALL!!!!!_*** that I can't write a specialized, personal thank you to everyone. HOWEVER! That does NOT mean that I won't thank you! Ok, here we go:

*drumroll* **_Special thank you's out to: _**Kristen, Jayde, Sev's Gal, Freakozoid, Person, Hallia, ~Liz!, Kit Maxwell, Draco Malfoy N Harry Potter, Lady of the Lights, Dash, Japetha Razorwire, Amaiko, Agnes, Ginger Cat the Gun Slinger, Morbane, kitty~*, Kimagure, Miriam, ionis, Holli, and _iameviltara._ You guys make writing worth it!


	4. Eye of the Snake

Father of Mine, Part IV

Third Person PoV

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Special Thanks Out To:

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Kimagure: You have no idea how happy I am that you're so happy with the story! 

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Rachel Hunt Good eye for catching that, my deepest gratitude for pointing that out! I always get those two mixed up.... Both derive pleasure from some form of pain. 

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Lil Mrs. Malfoy: NO! Don't die!!! I'll lose a person who'll review!!! (Hey! Joking, joking, put DOWN the HAMMER! *ducks for cover*) Anyway, here's more for ya.

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Ginger Cat, The Gunslinger: I love your name! I absolutely HAD to say that, it's kewl! I thank you for the compliments, makes me feel all warm and tingly inside, lol.

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Severa: Hey, at least you reviewed....I could say DEATH TO THE PURPLE TURBAN! But I'm not. Hehehe

A/N: Sappy little thing, but I needed to post _something_ in order to make people remember it! Lol Besides, it gives Draco another chance to complain.

Disclaimer: Lethifolds and all that belong to...why do I even bother with this? If you have the slightest inkling to sue me for it, all you'll get is the HP soundtrack, an afghan, a grumpy cat, and 3 guinea pigs. Any takers...? Thought not. ^__~

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**Eye of the Snake**

Draco stabbed at his breakfast listlessly. Quidditch season was upon Hogwarts and everybody was feeling it. _Everybody but me_, he sighed to himself. He glanced over to the Gryffindor Table where Potter and his friends were sitting, talking, laughing. Draco's stomach ached. _Perfect Harry Potter, with his perfect life, and his not-so-perfect friends..._Weasley said something while looking over at the Slytherin table. Potter laughed so hard, his glasses fell off, he started choking, fell out of his chair completely, and milk leaked out of his nose on top of everything else, making the Mudblood laugh even harder as she patted him on the back. _Dork._ He looked down his table wistfully. How come nobody ever laughed like that at this table? Pansy looked in her little compact, powdering her pale face so that it was even paler than usual. She thought it made her look pristine. Draco thought it made her look sick.

He was more fascinated with the little round mirror in the top of compact. It was so tiny, you could just slip it in your pocket. Slip it out during class and nobody would notice **that** much...Pansy caught sight of him staring in her general direction and giggled. He rolled his eyes, turning to look in the opposite direction at the High Table. McGonagall was there to keep order with a few others. Not even Dumble-bumm (as he called the Headmaster) was there. Maybe they were seeing to the Quidditch pitch and stands. He shoved his plate away from him, disgusted. Food would upset him even more.

"...get changed," Pansy was saying to him. Draco scowled at her, "What?" Pansy giggled flirtatiously. "I said you ought to go change. The match is in an hour and you need to be ready." Draco left without another word, much to her chagrin. Another year as Seeker, another year of demise by Potter...Well, that was something that would change. He was going to study every move Potter made and devise a plan of attack so that the Quidditch and House Cup wouldn't be stripped of Slytherin again. He let himself in the common rooms ('Anaconda' was the password) and dashed up to his room, snatching up his emerald green robes in a second and then whipped down the stairs before anyone would notice him.

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I wonder if he's in. Draco slipped into Professor Snape's office quietly, adjusting the clasps to his robes.Didn't look like it, but then again, Snape was never seen if he didn't want to be. Figuring that since nobody was around and he didn't feel like going to the locker rooms to change, he'd just change here and if his 'father' didn't show up in a half hour, he'd go out to the field. He was stripped down to his boxers in front of the fire when he caught sight of a door slightly off to the left: A tiny bathroom, nothing more. _But it has a mirror..._He peered in it, trying to recall his world on the other side. Instead, he caught sight of little, pinkish-purple slashes across his chest, barely visible, but there nonetheless. Then there was the smooth patch of skin on his shoulder from this summer, and the little white crescent by his ear that his hair covered. His father's ring had given him that one. Draco scowled again, turning away from the mirror and padding back to the main room to his pile of clothes.

A huge, heavy black cloak plopped down and around him suddenly. "Wish I could say that you dropping in unannounced was a pleasant surprise, but I wasn't expecting you in such an..._open_ state, shall we say," a strong baritone voice told him. Draco grinned, searching for an opening in the fathomless cloth. "I'm sorry, did I startle you?" he said sheepishly, voice muffled by the soft fabric. "Not really, as I had a pretty good idea on how covered you were from the amount of clothing strewn haphazardly around my office," came the reply. Draco said, "Sorry" once more and struggled to find the end of the cape, but gave up and started to walk back towards his clothes, bumping into things on the way. A hearty laugh came from wherever his teacher was standing. Draco protested weakly, "It's NOT FUNNY!"

Snape chuckled even more at that. "You look like some kind of demented Lethifold! That's what I'm laughing at," he said between laughs. The black blob in the center of the room shifted, two pointy projections coming out of its sides. Professor Snape assumed that Draco had put his hands on his hips. "Just give me my Quidditch robe and I'll be on my way, thank you very much," he said indignantly. There was a pause, then more weight was added to the already heavy cloak as Snape tossed the green robes on top of Draco. "MMPH!" Draco collapsed in a heap and his head popped out of the bundle. He picked the green apart from the black carefully as his teacher went over to the desk, rummaging through the top drawer, back turned to give him privacy. 

"Your cloak smells like the cold," Draco remarked, dropping it onto Snape's head. "Fanks," his teacher said obscurely, words lost in the thick folds of cloth. Draco fixed his gloves and padding as Snape pulled the cloak over his shoulders and shook his lank hair straight again. "It should, as it just came from there," he said dryly. He shut the compartment with a bang. Draco became serious once more as he debated whether or not to discuss his feelings. He decided he would anyway.

"I'm nervous," he admitted, "I don't know why, but this is one of the first times and I don't like it." Snape regarded him coolly for a moment and Draco shifted uncomfortably. "Then keep the eye of the tiger," Snape said thoughtfully. "The _what_?" Draco said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. _Gross, why would anybody want to carry a slimy eyeball around for?_ Snape smiled slightly at his reaction. "It means keep your eye on your task like a tiger does on it's prey and let the petty distractions fall away from you unheeded. When you can do that, you have a 'tiger's eye'," Snape explained patiently, "There is a gem named after it because of it's mysterious appearance. Sometimes a person keeps the stone on a chain around their neck to remind them to focus and for good luck. Doesn't always work, but it makes them feel better all the same." 

"I think 'eye of the snake' would be better in this case, sir," Draco jested as he started towards the door. "Haven't you forgotten something?" Snape asked curtly. Draco turned and found him holding his pants out to him. He flushed slightly as he pulled them on. "I daresay that the girls would appreciate the show you would put on had you gotten out on the field and the wind kicked up." That made him blush even more. "See you after the game, Professor," he muttered. Snape shook his head, smiling.

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"Eye of the Tiger, Eye of the Tiger..." he reminded himself as he scanned the Quidditch field. Ravenclaw wasn't doing too badly. Crabbe and Goyle had made the team as Beaters and were doing all they could. That wasn't much, as they didn't see half of the moves the Chasers were making until it was too late. The Ravenclaw Seeker, Cho Chang, was doing her best to keep out of Draco's way. Draco decided to have a bit of fun with him. First he glanced over to the Slytherin section of the grandstands and saw everyone cheering for him. A lone figure in black was watching stoically as he flashed past. Draco grinned to himself, good old Prof. Snape... "Eye of the _Tiger_!" he snapped at himself. That was one of the needless distractions Snape was talking about, he realized as he flicked his eyes around, looking for the Snitch. A splash of blue zoomed past, nearly unseating him.

He tightened his grip on his broom, intent on revenge, murderous intent clearly etched on his porcelain face, as he flew after it. A quick glance told him it was the impertinent Seeker. With a sneer to rival his mentor's, he shot off after the bloke and rammed his shoulders into her. She shrieked in surprise and was knocked off course. The lusty cheers of the Slytherins and the cries of outrage goaded Draco on to greater heights, filling him with a kind of pride that he always got whenever he pulled a trick out of his sleeve. Another glance back at his Head of House and the smirk on his face was all Draco needed to go after Cho again. He zoomed in, boxing her too close to the stadium so that she either had to pull up, pull down, or slow to a crawl in order to avoid getting run into the stands. The Slytherins were going crazy; they'd never seen Draco do this kind of planned attack. Usually he just did whatever popped into his head to whatever person got in his way.

Cho's face was a mask of fear and determination. Draco shouldered closer to her; she wasn't backing down from the threat of having her face carved onto the wall. _Too bad for her_, he thought as he swerved into her quickly, risking getting caught in the stands himself. Cho hit the stands with a sickening thud and fell out of the air, almost in slow motion. In a second, Draco saw the Snitch flutter down with her. _Eye of the Tiger..._ He swooped down into a steep dive, racing her falling figure to the ground. He caught the Snitch just as he plowed himself into the ground with Cho. Everyone rushed to the edge of the stands to see. The two Seekers were splayed on the ground, breathing shallowly. "SLYTHERIN WINS!!" Seamus Finnegan shouted into the roar. 

Still the Seekers didn't move. A hush came over the field as Madame Pomfrey rushed out onto the pitch, Professors Snape and Flitwick in tow.

A/N: Ok, I didn't plan for that to happen, it just....did! Not my usual style, but I was feeling happy for once.


	5. What Dreams May Come

Father of Mine, Part V

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Special Thanks to:

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Rhiow, Tellie, draca weasley, Archaic Raven, QuinnLynx, MaKe 7 yUrZ, ljp, Jazzofborg, naeginnie6, Pamela, Kathryn Malfoy, Ostia, Ochy Wally Wally Och a Bang Bang, Princess of Mirrors, Ginger Cat the Gunslinger, Draco Malfoy n Harry Potter, Omniscient, Yoshi, chelsea, and_ annakas!!!_

It's not exactly Draco's PoV, it's what he sees in his dream and what's happening in the Infirmary around him.

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What Dreams May Come

"How long until they wake, Poppy?"

"Could be a few minutes, could be a few days. Be patient, Severus." 

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Where the hell am I? It's dark...oh so dark...I can't see! Professor, help! Why can't I move? I can't feel my arms...my legs...Why am I so cold in here? Where _is_ here, anyway? The air is warm, though. Professor, where are you? Father! _Father!!_

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Madame Pomfrey shifted the pillows around Draco's head. Dumbledore looked between him and Cho Chang. She had woken up a few days earlier, but tired easily and slept alot. "So young..." he sighed, "So troubled." Harry, Hermione, and Ron peered into the room. "Come in, come in. I daresay they each could use some company," Dumbledore beckoned to them. Madame Pomfrey pursed her lips, but kept silent, wrapping bandages for storage. Harry moved closer to Draco's bed, face pale. "He looks so frail when he's not smirking, doesn't he?" he remarked quietly to his compatriots. Ron snorted derisively, "I wish he'd break himself when he has nightmares, then." Hermione fixed him with a look and he didn't even notice.

Harry looked at Draco with a look of contempt and pity. _When he's not making some snide remark or other, he looks like he could be one of the nicest people you could ever wish to talk to...Angelic, even,_ Harry thought. Ron had moved on to Cho's slumbering form. Unlike Draco, she had a flush to her cheeks and shifted every once in a while in her sleep. Hermione glanced between the two prone figures in the beds. Much as she hated to admit it, Harry was right: Malfoy looked as though he were made of glass. Like he almost needed someone to take care of him. Turning away from him was hard to do, she found, as they left the infirmary silently.

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The air is hot...so hot...Father, help, I can't breathe! The air is choking me! It hurts! It feels like fire meeting ice on my skin! Father!! So dark...can't see...What's happening to me? Father!!! Help! So dark...so hot...I can't feel my body. _Somebody, help me!!!!!! PLEASE!!!! Get me out of this!_ I'm falling....the air scorches me as it rushes past...I can't see where I'm going! 

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"Has he not come out of it at all?"

"_No_, Severus. Be patient."

"I've _been_ bloody patient, it's been a week at least."

"Try telling him that!" Madame Pomfrey snapped back, "At least Miss Chang is out of the infirmary now, be thankful."

Snape looked helplessly at the boy in the hospital bed. It was entirely too large for him; it dwarfed Draco something awful. 

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I hear echoing voices...Father? Is that you? Can you hear me? Ugh, this feels like I'm trying to wade through a lake of glue....

"I'll look after him for now, Poppy, you go rest. Get some food in you, for heaven's sake," Professor Snape said, settling down in a chair. Madame Pomfrey nodded tiredly and shuffled out wordlessly.

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Who is that? I can hear you! Hey! Somebody, help me! I'll hex the life out of you, I swear it on my mother's honour, if you don't help me out of this! Oh no...I feel like I'm being dragged down in the glue again...I can't move...I can't hear you anymore....

Snape had taken out lesson plans to work on by the time Madame Pomfrey came back. "No change yet," he said softly. She nodded and went to check Draco over. He was still breathing shallowly, skin practically transparent, it was so pale. She gently took his hand in hers, trying to rub some warmth into the frigid fingers. He was always so cold...it was a wonder how he ever survived in those dungeons-

"...Severus..." she began hesitantly, "Would you mind talking to him?" Snape stared at her. 

"I beg your pardon?"

"Talk to the boy. I thought I felt his hand twitch, but I wasn't sure."

Snape gave her a dubious look, but complied. "Draco...Draco, can you hear me..." he started softly.

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Yes! I can hear you! But you sound so far away...help me get out of the glue, Father, it's so heavy...

Draco's eyelids flickered. Snape took hold of his other hand. Cold met cold and his eyes fluttered again. "Draco...If you can hear me, squeeze my hand...Draco..."

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I can hear you, but only faintly...Keep talking, don't let me lose my way! I can't see! Don't stop talking, I'm coming!

Madame Pomfrey gasped as she felt small pressure on her hand. Snape looked at her, unsure of what to do next, holding his student's hand cautiously. "Keep talking, Severus, keep talking! He's coming out of it!" she squeaked excitedly.

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I can't find my way...I can't hear you, Father, I can't come back to you if I can't hear you...

"Draco! Come on, you're almost home! Come on, Draco, you're almost there! Draco..."

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Don't let me get stuck in the glue! I hear you, keep talking to me, please_...Don't leave me..._

Draco's ears were filled with an angry buzzing as he became more aware of his surroundings. The words being spoken to him echoed around his head, his name thundering against his skull. He became painfully aware of his limbs as they began to tingle. His breathing became ragged as he gained consciousness again. 

__

Father, don't leave me...

"Albus, he's coming back!! Albus!" he heard the nurse say into a little bloom of light in her other hand. _"Draco...Draco...."_ The name pounded on his brain.

__

"Come back to us...Draco....Come back...come to me, Draco, come..."

"I'm coming....I'm coming..." he mumbled unintelligibly. 

"Draco!" Snape said insistently, clasping his student's hand tightly. Dumbledore walked in. "How is he, Poppy?" he asked concernedly, looking over Snape's shoulder. 

__

Another person came? I heard another person...I can move faster now, I coming Father, I'm coming! Greyness swam in front of Draco's eyes as he struggled. It felt like pins and needles were being driven into his arms and legs as the feeling returned to them. _How come you can't see me? You have to pull me out..._"Draco!"

With a mental wrench, Draco pulled himself free of the glue and snapped his eyes open. Wide-eyed, he looked around, breathing hard as he gripped the two adults' hands until his knuckles were white.

(A/N: Did you think that was the end? Guess again! ^__^ lol )

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco was still in the infirmary a few days after he had woken up, incredibly weak from the trauma of it all. _At least Slytherin is in the running for the Cup_, he thought with some satisfaction. He knew they would be, they always were; but now it was secured. Lying back into his throne of pillows, he frowned, thinking. He knew that he had nightmares. He had woken up shaking from them at least twice every night, to find either Madame Pomfrey, Professor Snape, or even the Headmaster himself watching him, concerned looks on each of them. He was beginning to dread sleep, for he was infinitely tired whenever he woke up and he could never remember the nightmares. All that remained was the sheer terror and his racing heartbeat.

***

Draco's eyes drooped as he listened to Madame Pomfrey jabbering to Professor Snape about what potions she needed replenished. He slid into an uneasy sleep, not wanting to, but feeling the inevitable pull of the Nether World on his tortured mind.

__

I can't find my way. Then again, I don't need to. I see myself on the path, looking confused and frightened at where to go. "Father?" I hear myself call out shrilly. It's a twisted path through the forest, black trees swaying darkly in the gloom. The only way to go is to follow it...We both hear the same deafening silence pressing in on us, magnifying any sound to a hundred times louder. Every twig broken, every shuddery breath, every faltering pulse of the heart. I'm just an observer, I realize. It's so quiet, so dark. Smoke comes rolling in smooth waves through the leafless trees, blinding us even more. We come upon Father, he looks frightened as well. "Come, Draco," he whispers, tucking his black hair over an ear nervously. I see myself move closer to him as they soldier onwards through the thick mist.

His face folded into a worried expression as he shifted slightly in his slumber. Snape took no notice of it. Madame Pomfrey had gone to bed, as it was Severus' turn to stand watch for tonight.

__

The crescent moon above reminds me of my scar by my ear. It's cold, harsh light is reflected on the vapour, making the trees waver eerily in a slow measured dance. The path is broken by a small, rotted bridge. An angry red glow reflects darkly on the putrid wood. I see myself and my father turn to go back, but the trail has been erased. 'You can only go forward...' a voice hisses quietly from nowhere. They almost get across, but the bridge breaks, sending us all flying down into the fiery pit below. Is it Hell? I know not. I find myself watching from a throng of people in black cloaks, hooded to protect their identities. They can't see me anymore than the Draco and Snape in the center of the ring can. I don't exist in their eyes. 

Draco tossed and turned, trying to escape. Severus leaned over him slightly, anticipating when his eyes were going to snap open in glassy-eyed fear.

__

One person in a cloak different from the others steps forward, careful to keep his face covered. The only visibly part was his eyes. Two pinpricks of light. His eyes were blazing with the fury of the Dark Lord as he pulled a thin dagger out of his sash and pointed it straight at Father's chest. Father stood still, matching Lucius's wrath with a blistering glare of his own. "Draco, run..." he whispers hoarsely, "Run..." The man smiles beneath the mask, a frightening thing. "Yes, do run," he says gleefully, eyes never leaving Father's, dagger never wavering. I see myself backing away slowly, shaking my head disbelieving.

'This can't be happening...'

Draco's thoughts are my own as I watch myself take another cautious step backward and bump into one of the members of the Circle. They push him roughly back into the middle, making him stumble. Dark shadows wheel over head ominously.

Draco let out a small whimper and Severus bit his lip, wondering.

__

"No!! You can't do this!" a frantic cry breaks out. Harry Potter comes rushing through the ring of flames that surround the Circle, green eyes alight with a kind of fury on their own. Quick as you please, the Hooded Man pulls out his wand and kills him in a flash, dagger never faltering from Father's chest. He falls dead in a heap. Vultures swoop down from the wrathful sky, pecking him to bits of carrion. I see myself cry out in fear and frustration and dash towards the Hooded Man. He deftly pulls Father around, using him as a shield, dagger at his throat. "Don't move or his blood will be on your hands, treacherous snake..." the Man snarled coldly. "Draco, run! Go!! Save yourself!" Father cried at me, blade biting into his neck.

"Not without you!" I heard myself yell back, leaping towards them. With a dark flash, the blade was pulled and Father crumpled to the ground, deep red puddle forming around his pale face. The Man in the Cloak laughed cruelly, then killed the little blonde figure crouching at his father's broken body, crying, in a flash of green light. Nobody heard my scream as the man pulled off his mask and I saw my face under the hood, with a smirk of satisfaction.

***

Severus held the trembling boy tight in his arms. Draco had woken up screaming and tried to run away. Instead, he ended up latching onto his professor for dear life, shaking like an aspen leaf in the wind. Severus had tried to talk to him, but Draco was beyond hearing or seeing anything that wasn't in his own head. His silver eyes darted wildly around, trying to empty the vision in front of them.

This time he could only see his own sinfully delighted face standing over the two limp figures in the fiery pit.

A/N: Ok, _that_ is the official end. I was going to end it, but then I figured that the chapter and its title would be kinda pointless, so I had him dream. Was it too confusing? I hope not, I rewrote it a billion times trying to make it less so. I'm babbling now, so I'm gonna shut up and go away now...See that nice little Button that says 'Review' on it? I'll let you decide what it's for, lol!


	6. Yea, Though I Walk

Father of Mine, Part VI

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Special Thanks to: _Kearie, kloudlynne, Holli, Katrianna, Ebony, draca wealsy, Hallia, Countess Gemina, Yanagi-sen, annakas, electricbluecat, mysticalcancer, Jenserai, Draco Malfoy n Harry Potter, chelsea make 7^ yurs, Gingercat The Gunslinger, and Jordan Domynikah: Ravenclaw Extraordinaire. _

A/N: People, relax!! It was the official end to the **chapter**, not the story! Do you think I'd leave my readers hanging like that? On second thought, don't answer that...^__^ I haven't been able to put this up until now because of lovely-lovely Midterms at school which aren't so lovely-lovely after all. And guess what: I PASSED MY ALGEBRA EXAM!!!! *does stupid little dance like and idiot* I PASSED, I PASSED!!!! *ahem* Right then, I'll just let you read now...

A/N2: Oh yeah, this is in Draco's PoV.

A/N3: Has anyone seen DOGMA? I LOOOOOOOOOOVE that movie!! _Especially_ when the Metatron bursts into flames in Bethany's bedroom and she puts him out with a fire extinguisher and he turns the bat into a '...fffffffffffffffish' and then he drops his pants... Hehehehehe-AH! Put down the pitchforks and I promise no more Author's Notes until AFTER the chapter!!!! I promise!!! *cowers*

A/N4: Ok, I lied...Last one, I swear! Linkin Park rules!

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Yea, Though I Walk

Ok, the nightmares don't even scare me anymore. I've actually come to look forward to them, as they are practically the only thing that has become ritual. Every night, I go to sleep from sheer exhaustion from _not_ wanting to go to sleep from not wanting the night horrors to come, come they do and scare the buhjeesus out of me, I wake up in a panic and cold sweat, go to Father's chambers shaking and paranoid, he lets me stay in his bed while he takes the couch, and I slink back to the dorms before anyone finds out that I have to go running to somebody when I have a bad dream. *pause* That doesn't make sense to anybody but me...oh well. 

I mean, honestly! It's been a month and a half since I knocked myself out! You would think that I wouldn't be having these lingering problems...Fatigue...slight forgetfulness...lack of attention in anything I do...and nightmares. Nothing can comfort me, either. Wherever I go, the dreams haunt me. Wandering in the hallways before bedtime helps, I've found. The peacefulness, the quietness, the loneliness of a dark corridor with splashes of silver moonlight through the gloom leaves much room for thought. 'Analyze your brain' time, my grandmother used to call it. 'Melancholy nonsense' Lucius calls it. Bah. Bastard. I'll bet you that he meandered the halls just as much as I do, if he didn't do it more. Birds of a feather. *scoff* More like toads of a wart, actually, my whole family is rotten. Myself included.

Enough Malfoy-bashing for now, I'm doing my usual rounds through the darkened hallways, hoping that Filch doesn't catch me. I read somewhere that if you dream of hallways or long, covered paths, either spiritually or mentally you need to make a journey to overcome an obstacle. Just a little fun fact that popped in my head for some reason. The wind gusts eerily through the cracks in the windows and walls. Doesn't bother me, but it annoys the hell out of Pansy. I wonder what a person would make of me now: Not half the person I once was, at any rate. Insults ceased to fly from my once razor-sharp tongue. I fear it's grown quite rusty from disuse. 

Pansy told me that I looked pale and light enough to be a ghost. How I wish I could be at times, you know? Just be able to melt into the shadows in the corridors, be unnoticed by people as they hurry about on their busy ways like sheep. Sheep, I tell you, brainless sheep! You have to wonder, though, are you one? Are you different? Are you a wolf in sheep's clothing? Or are you a sheep in sheep's clothing? Or why not be a sheep in wolf's clothing-Why the hell am I thinking this? One, I don't see the reasoning behind it. Two, it just keeps circling around to the same thing, and three, it's not helping in the least. Riiiiiight, Draco, you've gone as batty as Trelawney. Fuck, man, if I'm thinking like this I'm either completely tired or completely wasted. *sigh* I found myself in my favourite hall just now; I didn't even know that was where my feet were taking me.

You know, the stained glass windows in this long-forgotten passage up in the East wing of the Castle are quite charming in the moonlight. A riot of colour in surrounded by the dirty grey drabness of the rest of the world. A little bit of insanity in a uniform domain. Chaos, if you will. Reminds me of a Muggle Cathedral my Great Aunt Audrey took me to. I think I was about eight or nine at the time. I stop to remember that happy memory. The organ playing soothing music in the back-round as we gazed at the windows in the glimmering candlelight on Christmas Eve. Lucius and my mother were away at some party or other, getting drunk off their asses, what else was new. Audrey held my tiny hand in her warm gloved one, smiling as gentle as the music when we entered the church. The choir sang as sweet as an angel might, I remember. All we did was walk around the outside aisles, viewing the magnificent windows in all their brilliance. Simple but majestic, moving yet happy over-all. 

We stopped at the Nativity scene set up at the altar in a warm conclusion to the journey. The baby Jesus waving his arms happily in his bed of straw while the Star shined above, bathing him in a blanket of the purity he stood for. And I remember recoiling slightly from it, knowing that I would never have that purity. I would probably never have his forgiveness, either. But I could pretend then that I could. And I did so, shamelessly. I pretended that I was a good little boy, whose greatest crime was stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar, not being forced to kill small animals for '...future training and building strength of character...'. One dark blue piece in the Slytherin window reflects me like a mirror, showing my face in the darkness that I am. It shows my true self to me: No matter how light I try to make myself, I'll never be anything but dark; it's what I was bred to do, to be.

A tear shimmies out of my eye as I remember what happened to Great Aunt Audrey after she brought me home to my parents later that night. Lucius was very inebriated and struck out at her, angry for taking me to a place that might undo all the work he put into me, to make me as cold and ruthless as he, as unforgiving. In the end, she ran out in front of a passing bus and died in the hospital. The last thing I recall was her cheerful red beret that she always wore laying on the snowy sidewalk, cottony flakes settling down gently around it and the quote to a Muggle prayer I once heard recited.

I turn abruptly and think of it again as I wander the dark corridors: 'And yea, though I walk through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil....' 

A/N: How was it? He begged me not to tell you guys that the tear fell, but hey: If you keep things out, people can't truly understand how you feel. Right, Draco? *muttered response* Ok, you can sleep with Mr. Teddy and your blankie tonight-OOPS! I wasn't supposed to put THAT in, I'm sorry, Draco!! ^__~ Ma bad...


	7. Kick Out, Kick Back

Father of Mine, Part VII

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Special Thanks to: _Ginger Cat the Gunslinger, Draco Malfoy n Harry Potter, MaKe 7 yUrZ, Yanagi-sen, annakas, Kate Lynn, Mrs. Kalitica Malfoy, Kijo, Archaic Raven, draca weasley, Kivessa, and Cathy Gurl!_

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ATTENTION: For all y'all Snape-lovers (especially Ginger Cat, ^_~) out there, you might love a totally awesome fic by Archaic Raven. It's called _The Heathen_ and it's wonderful! Anybody who knows me well knows that I _don't_ do recommendations for other stories, but it just goes to show that sometimes I need to eat my own words. Hehe. So in your free time, go read it. You won't regret it, I promise.

A/N: New E-mail for those of you who care: _potionsmaster66@cox.net_ and some McGonagall-bashing. Heeeee...fun...

**__**

Kick Out, Kick Back

Draco scowled down at his paperclip chain he was supposed to be Transfiguring into a necklace. Try as he might, it only got a green glow around it, wiggled, and stayed the same. Professor McGonagall was coming around to offer her assistance to those in need. He didn't want any help, though, he was thoroughly convinced that he could do it...just like all his other Transfiguration projects that were half finished, maimed, or completely opposite the desired result. The Ravenclaws weren't having that much trouble; they never really did. Draco shot them a venomous look as his paperclip chain wriggled across the desk top, avoiding his wand's tip.

McGonagall stood imperiously over his desk with a dubious look on his lack of progress. "Mr. Malfoy..." she started disdainfully, "Exactly _what_ have you been doing today? Surely not your class work?" Draco tightened his grip on his wand and narrowed his eyes menacingly. "Even Mssr. Crabbe and Goyle have managed to make some type of change in their chain, but all yours is capable of doing is acting like a charmed snake," she snapped, "Make sure you are picturing quite clearly what you want it to change to and say the spell like you mean it." With that, she turned on her heel back to the snickering Ravenclaws. By now, his already sour temper was flaring and he thought how easy it would be to cast the Cruciatus on her; after all, she wouldn't expect it coming. Her back was turned-_No! Don't think like that!_

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. All he could see was his wand pointed towards his writhing teacher, pain distorting her features as she wailed in agony. He growled audibly and a Ravenclaw seated at the next desk glanced at him warily. "Oh, what are _you_ staring at?" he barked at her. She raised an eyebrow at him and turned back to her own work as McGonagall came over in a huff. "Five points from Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy and don't let outbursts like that happen again, please," she said, staring at him like he was a dirty tissue. He glared hatefully at her, teeth bared, air hissing in and out of his clenched teeth. McGonagall pursed her lips and turned again. 

"Funny...I've never seen a horse with _two_ asses before," he muttered, still glowering at her, arms folded. McGonagall whipped around, hat almost coming off her precise bun. "_25_ points off and a detention!" she shouted, face pale. The Ravenclaw who had stared at him earlier looked like she was struggling not to laugh; her eyes were sparkling and she had her jaw clamped shut. Draco sat back in his seat casually, arms crossed, ice chips boring into his teacher's eyes. "Oh dear," he deadpanned, "Whatever shall I do, I have a god-awful _detention_." 

"I shall see Professor Snape about you, Malfoy, mark my words-"

"As if I care!"

"You should! This is your only chance to get an education!"

"Big deal," he jeered at her, rolling his eyes. McGonagall closed his book, picked up his chain, and forced him to stand. "Get out," she growled at him. "And if I refuse?" Draco asked arrogantly, raising his chin. "You shall pay a visit to the Headmaster! Get _OUT_!!" she yelled, pointing a trembling finger at the door. "_FINE!_" he shouted back in her face, yanking his book bag up to him. The Ravenclaw at the next desk watched him shrewdly out of the corner of her eye as he stormed out, robes flying. Professor McGonagall sank into her chair in front of the room, hand to her forehead as the astonished class stared at her.

Draco flung back the door to Snape's office angrily and flounced in, making himself at home. _No fire in the grate and no fairness in the world, either_, he thought bitterly to himself, kicking the wall. The jars rattled ominously in the aftershock and Draco plunked himself into his favourite armchair, scowling. His book bag dropped to the floor with a *thunk* and everything spilled out of the top. He groaned and bent down to pick up his papers and books. Underneath it all, he found a tiny silver ring embedded in the soft plush carpet. _Odd...I wonder who it belongs to..._He sat back on in the armchair, contemplating whose it might be and he lost track of the time. 

"I thought I might find you here."

Draco jumped a mile when Snape's amused voice broke the silence. "You would think I would be used to you sneaking up on me by now, wouldn't you?" he replied, turning to face his mentor. Snape raised an eyebrow at him as he placed his grading book down on his desk. 

"Maybe yes, maybe no. So tell me what you did to get Professor McGonagall to have conniptions this time."

"She insulted me first; I merely returned the favour..."

"I see. But _your_ behaviour reflects upon _me_ as your Head of House and I'm afraid that I won't be able to help you out of this one, Draco."

"I wouldn't expect you to, actually, I dug myself into this hole."

Snape cracked a sardonic grin at Draco's rebuke. "Is that the truth?" Draco snorted, "No, it's just what every teacher wants to hear." Snape rolled his eyes. "The perfect Slytherin," he said, "McGonagall decided that you needed a tutor on top of everything else, so your first detention is to be with a Ravenclaw. She originally wanted you with that Granger beaver, but I talked her out of it. It was the best I could manage." Draco stared at his teacher for a moment. 

"Let it never be said that you can't get anything from your teachers," he said. 

"And why is that?"

"It pays to be good friends with your Head of House; I don't have to face that Mudbl-" Snape's cold glare cut him off. "Gryffindor scum," he substituted quickly. He forgot that Snape didn't like that word uttered in his presence. Snape nodded his approval of the traded words, then said, "It's at 4:30 in the Library today. Make an attempt at being civil, at least." Draco scowled at the ring in his hand; he'd almost forgotten it. "Yes sir," he said flatly.

***

Around 4:45, Draco sauntered into the Library, trademark smirk in place. _Snape wants civil? I can be 'civil'..._ He went to the back of the room to where the work tables were and spotted an annoyed looking girl glancing at her watch with a small pile of books next to her. His smirk broadened. "I take it you're to be my tutor?" he said lazily, sliding into a chair across from her. She looked up at him and he realized it was the one he snapped at earlier in class. "I take it you're that bad in Transfigurations?" she replied coolly, not blinking an eye. He noticed she had large, expressive eyes. They were odd, though, he couldn't figure out the colour. They weren't brown, but they weren't straight blue, green, or grey, either. 

"So who're you? I don't think I've ever gotten your name," Draco said, still smirking. "And what would you do with my name once you have it?" she asked coyly. Draco lost his smirk rather quickly. "I don't know, I didn't really think about it," he replied, leaning on an elbow. "Then why bother knowing it?" she countered, staring into his silver eyes with her deep ones. Draco decided that they were the colour of the sea and left it at that. "Because it is only proper that you introduce yourself," he said, remembering to be civil, "I'm Dra--" She cut him off with a shake of her head. "I know who you are," she said softly, "My brother Erik is in your House." Draco paused, reflecting. "What's he look like?" he asked, intrigued.

"Well, he's taller than me, but about average height, I suppose. His hair is dark brown, like mine. Dark blue eyes, pale skin, and we're told that we have the same nose," the Ravenclaw smiled, fingering her nose absently. _Average height, dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, and pale skin...name of Erik. Hmmm..._ "What year is he in?" Draco, questioned, thinking. "Sixth year, same as us," came the reply. "Thought so, he's one of my room mates. He's really quiet, though. Does he ever speak?" he said. She laughed, the sound light, happy, and _genuine_. This was a first for Draco; he never made anybody but Professor Snape laugh like that before. Her eyes sparkled as she answered good naturedly, "He does, though barely. He needs to really get to know you and then some. I think he has a hard time opening up to people and hides behind books because of it. He thinks that he and I should switch Houses for that reason. I guess that's true, too, because I think Slytherin would be more fun for me. All anybody in Ravenclaw wants to do is study more about the Euclidean Theories of Dragon Locomotion and such nonsense. And speaking of studying, isn't that what we're here for?"

Draco groaned. The Ravenclaw smiled apologetically, "First things first. I noticed in class that you get really tense when you concentrate so hard. Why don't you try to relax and focus on it instead of trying to change it through sheer willpower?" She took a matchbook out of her pocket and told him to Transfigure a match into a needle. "That's baby stuff! Anybody can do that!" he objected. "Prove it, then, if it's so easy," she challenged. After a struggle, Draco managed to change it. She pursed her lips, thinking. "Ok, try it again and don't look like you're constipated, please."

He looked up at her indignantly and saw her eyes sparkling again, just like they had been in class while he and McGonagall fought. _She's laughing at _me_! How dare she!_ But he couldn't help smiling back. Her good mood was infectious. He changed the match much more easily than before and he felt his smile grow into a happy grin. He felt positively silly, smiling like a goon over a simple Transfiguration, but it felt _good_. It was _easy_ this time. Draco worked hard with the Ravenclaw until she suddenly looked at her watch. "Oh! We're late for dinner! Same time next week alright with you?" Draco nodded as she scampered to put all the books back into her bag and she started to rush off. Draco grabbed her wrist and swung her around to face him. He found himself staring into her large eyes once more.

"How can I do it this easily again? What if I screw it up in class, as usual?" he asked.

"Just....I dunno...kick back and relax, like you did here. Once you did, everything got much easier."

With that, she deftly twisted her arm out of his grip and dashed towards the Great Hall. Draco watched her go, a small smile left on his face. He wasn't hungry and decided to skip dinner and do the rest of his Transfiguration homework while it was still fresh in his mind. Common room would be too distracting, so he went to Professor Snape's office again. This time there was a fire going. He plopped his bag down and got to work. Snape had come back from dinner just as he finished the last sentence with flourish and threw his pen down. Snape settled into his chair with a pile of parchment and a bottle of red ink. Draco flipped his shoes off and tucked his legs under him, getting comfortable. "What, no more homework?" his teacher asked. 

"Nope."

'Well done. How was tutoring today?"

Draco felt his silly grin come back on his face as he responded, "It was great! I really got it this time! I wish she could teach class instead of McGonagall, she explains it so much easier..." Snape smiled in spite of himself. "That's nice. And who might 'she' be?" he asked his ecstatic student. "Huh?" Draco was still reminiscing in the glory of getting Transfiguration for once. "I asked you who your wondrous saviour was. Don't you know?" his teacher smirked. Draco smacked himself in the head, "I tried to get it out of her, but she sidetracked me, I took the bait and I forgot and--argh. This is so confusing. That didn't make any sense whatsoever." 

"No, it didn't."

"Oh, you can be quiet just about now."

Snape arched his eyebrows. "Really. Glad to know I have permission," he quipped. "WAIT A MINUTE!" Draco shouted, jumping up from his chair. Snape grabbed for his pile of papers that had flown through the air moments before. "What is it now, another brain fart?" he snapped, exasperated. "No," said Draco, "I just remembered something she told me." Snape scowled at his student as he straightened the wayward parchment. Draco tucked his legs under himself again and leaned back in his chair. _This is the happiest I've been in a long time_, he realized. Snape shook his head and turned to correcting his papers. A minute later, he looked up, even more exasperated. "Well, what did she say? I can't concentrate anymore because you left it hanging like that," he said. Draco peered at him through the corner of his eye and gave him a sly sneer. 

"She told me who her brother was, is all."

"Oh..."

"And she gave me a piece of advice that I intend to do fully tonight."

"What's that?"

"Kick back and relax." To emphasize his point, he shifted his position, having his legs flopped over the arm of his chair and his back leaning against the other, arms folded behind his head. His mentor merely shook his head again and went back to grading papers. Draco stared at the fire, letting his thoughts turn to what they would. And they turned right back to the Ravenclaw girl, the way she wasn't intimidated by him, her patience with him, her easy smile, her laugh, her sense of humour...and her eyes. The way her eyes sparkled mischievously whenever she thought of something, the beautiful colour they were: not blue, but not green, with just the right amount of grey thrown into the mix to make them smoky and mysterious. The way the long, luxurious black lashes shadowed them when she closed her eyes...

He sighed and closed _his_ own eyes, steel grey and cold. _Maybe it's time to talk to Erik..._

A/N: I felt like bashing a Gryffindor, and McGonagall just happened to be the one. Sorry to all you fans of hers out there, no harm was meant by it. After all, Draco _is_ a Slytherin...^__~ Alright, I think I might make something of this Ravenclaw-thingie. Didn't plan for that to happen either, but boys will be boys after all. Eh...can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, you know?


	8. Masquerade

Father of Mine, Part VIII

*sniffle* the** Special Thanks** section is so small! Ai, ai, ai...Anyway:

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Archaic Raven: No problem for the billboard space, it was my pleasure! ^__^ A story that excellent deserves recognition.

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Omniscient: He just met the girl!!! He can't be in love! But one thing's for certain, he can't stop thinking about her...hehehehe, I have a delicious plan coming up now....pain...lotsa pain... 

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Draco Malfoy N Harry Potter: I did say that I wasn't turning this into a romance a while back, didn't I? Have a little faith, heehee! 

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annakas: Here's more! Hope you like!

A/N: Boop-boop-bee-doop! I dunno, just felt like saying that. Draco's PoV.

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Masquerade

For the first time in many nights, I don't think I had a bad dream. Or if I did, it was a tiny one. Praise the Lord. Or the Devil. Or whoever the hell is in charge of dreams, I don't keep track of deities. Maybe I should. Then I can possibly believe in something. The only thing I believe in right now is that if I don't become the perfect Malfoy and the prime example of Death Eater, my ass is toast. Have I already done a deal with Lucifer? Signed my soul to Satan? I suppose that's what the Dark Mark is: a contract on my life, on my soul. I doubt I have one anymore...

If I believe enough in a God, maybe I'll find redemption. Yes, redemption for all the horrible acts I've committed and the ones to come. Forgiveness for what the future will bring. And forgiveness for me. Yet there is a possibility that I won't have to raise my eyes to the ethereal plains to gain what I seek. Someone can reach out and touch me like no other person has before, and see me for what I am, not what I'll become. I know what I'll become: a killer, a Death Eater, a Man Behind a Steel Mask...my biological father, in other words. For she was not afraid to see me.

Her eyes haunted me. Everywhere I looked. The ceiling in the Great Hall was the crystalline blue. The Slytherin banner was the verdant hue. The ashes in the grate were the mysterious grey and the sunlight on the lake was the mischievous sparkle whenever she laughed. It was as if they were burned into my brain. Pansy noticed that I was staring off into space and waved her hand two inches in front of my nose. I damn near bit the bitch's head off for that, for ruining such a nice thought. I turned back to my breakfast and the rest of my table. Crabbe and Goyle were fighting over who would get the last muffin. Half the table was watching them shove each other.

Pansy wrinkled her nose at them and daintily took a taste of her orange juice. "You know, Draco, I think you should help me study," she simpered. I rolled my eyes. "On what, how to tell when a guy isn't interested in you?" I jabbed back. I was still catty about her interrupting my day dream, I suppose. I heard gentle laughing and looked around to see who it was. It was hard to tell because my two oafs were flailing around and there were people egging them on, laughing about it, or giving the Classic Slytherin Stare. I was pleased to find that one of the people I wanted to befriend was chuckling at my retort: Erik. He had his usual book with him beside his plate and was quietly observing the whole affaire as it played out. 

Ingenious, really, because it was rather easy to forget he was even there. Pansy was too busy staring into her compact again to even comprehend what I said. Skank. I threw him a devious grin and he smirked back, shaking his head. "She'll never learn," I told him confidentially behind my hand. "Feed her enough crup[1] treats and she might," he replied softly. I laughed and Erik turned back to his breakfast with a small smile on his face. I guess that was a start of some sort. I'll take a leaf out of his book and do some observing of my own. All except I won't study just _anyone_, I'll watch the Dynamic Duo, that's what I'm calling my House mate and his sister.

I decided to wait a bit before talking to Erik, as well. Everybody knows that if you were unnoticed one day then you're Draco Malfoy's new best friend the next, it could mean two things: a) you had something I wanted or b) you were about to be ridiculed. I would have to ease into conversation and wear a friendly mask to get through the barrier he set up. Damn these people, why couldn't they just be simple!?! I glance over to the Ravenclaw table and see my tutor watching Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber over here acting like two year olds. How endearing. Finally sick of it, I jump up, grab the muffin, and stuff it in my mouth. That settled that. 

They watched me out of their piggy eyes as I sat back down and swallowed. "Aw, Draco, why'd you go and do that?" Crabbe asked while Goyle pouted. I gave them a cold glare and they didn't bother to question it anymore. I grabbed my bag and made my way to Charms along with the rest of the Slytherin sixth years. Luckily for me, I don't have that much trouble with them. Kind of odd once you think about it, because Transfigurations are supposed to be a variation of Charms. Eh. I'm not going to trouble myself over it. I choose a seat behind and to the right of Erik so I can watch him unnoticed. 

Flitwick takes the role and starts on about Secrecy Charms and Trust Packs. Easy, easy...Lucius already made sure I knew about those; I had first hand experience with many of the nastier ones. Unpleasant memory, that. Erik takes his notes quietly, quickly, and goes back to observing people in the same silent manner. The November sunlight from the wide windows catches him full in the face, making his eyes light up eerily. Whoever thought that that colour blue was found in nature? Creepy, I tell ya! His sister was right, I found out with a smirk, they do have the same nose...and the same hair, and the same shaped eyes. Unlike his sister, however, Erik's eyes were cold. Lifeless, if you will, like he blocked all emotion from himself. Yep, this would be interesting.

***

On break, I sent Crabbe and Goyle after the Creevey brothers, they were annoying me again by following Potter with awed expressions on their stupid faces. I followed Erik at a distance as he went to find his Ravenclaw sister. She was in the courtyard under a weeping willow. He pulled out a little black journal and they both leaned over it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He pointed to something in particular and she shook her head, biting her lip in thought. He argued something back to her and she nodded, still chewing her lip and I tried edging closer. Taking the book, she frantically flipped backwards, then pointed something else out and Erik got really mad. He grabbed the book and stood up, glowering at his sister. I was taken aback by that; you _never_ cross a Slytherin. However, she rose to the challenge and stood up as well, getting right in his face. Brotherly/sisterly love...

Erik turned away from her violently, crossing his arms and she sighed, resigned. Putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, she apologised for whatever it was she said to piss him off so much and he bowed his head, muttering something to her. Whatever it was made her laugh and he turned around again, half smile on his face. She got a devilish smirk on her face and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tight. The look on his face was so hysterical! It was something between "I can't believe she's doing this", "Get the fuck off me", and "AI! It hurts, it hurts!!" Laughing still, she let him go and gathered her bag up. Erik's nose was still wrinkled in disgust at the public display of affection as she punched him playfully on the arm and walked off. When she was gone, I walked towards him.

"Hey..." I said and he looked up in surprise. "Hey," he said back, a bit nonplussed as he picked up his bag, too. "I can't find Greg and Vince, and I figured since you're in my next class, I'd walk with you," I told him, matter of fact. He raised an eyebrow and said nothing as we began to walk towards the castle. "Who were you talking to?" I asked casually, hoping to sound mildly interested. "My sister," he said with a sigh. "Oh! She tutors me in Transfig, I think!" I say, sounding delighted. So much for easing into conversation. "Does she now," he replied boredly. "Yeah, she's really good at it, too...However, she wouldn't tell me her name and I was hoping that you would? Just so I don't have to keep calling her 'hey you' all the time."

At that, Erik smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. "How incredibly like her, then," he said with a snort, "And she'd kill me if I told you." I frowned. "Then what the fuck am I _supposed_ to call her?" I'm very exasperated. Erik threw me the same devious grin I had given him this morning at breakfast. "Call her a shadow, for that is all she will be to you until she trusts you enough with her name." I stopped short in the hallway, causing some Hufflepuff second years to plow into my back. One scowl from me sends them scattering like chicken feed and Erik patiently waits for me to start walking again. Stupid Hufflepuffs...always getting in the way...

Herbology was canceled, happy happy joy joy, so we turned and went back to the common room. Pansy unfortunately caught up with us and I saw Erik roll his eyes in disgust. "How about helping me 'study' now, Draco?" she said heavily, bumping her shoulders into me suggestively. "I can't, I promised Crabbe and Goyle I'd practice Quidditch with them," I spit out quickly. She giggled in her annoying way and replied, "Oh, silly, they're raiding the kitchens!" I thought fast. _Crap_, why the hell couldn't they be around? "Uh...then...I've got to do that essay on the Acromantula colonies[2] for DADA." Pansy brightened and puffed out her chest even more and Erik looked up, shaking his head. "I've got to do that too!" she squealed.

__

Damn, damn, double damn! "Uh...well..." I guess my panic showed on my face because Erik cut in. "We have an Arithmancy project that's due on Tuesday and we're going to the Library to research it," he deadpanned. Pansy looked like a balloon whose air had leaked out. "Yeah, yeah! That's what we're doing!" I add quickly and she pouts even more. "Sometimes I think you don't want me around at all, Drakie..." she whined, twisting a finger in her hair. "Yes, well, we'd love to stay and chat, but it's two and a half feet of parchment that I don't want hanging over my head tonight, so _if_ you don't mind," Erik snapped, grabbing hold of my bag and dragging me down the hall. Pansy looked after us sadly.

About half way to the Library, he lets go and gives me a Look. "Drakie?" he questioned. I took a sudden interest in my sleeves. "Let me try again: _Drakie_?" he reiterated. "Ohhh, shut it, you," I said quietly while shooting him a dirty look, "I hate that nickname but she insists on calling me it." We walk a few more yards in silence, then he just pronounces, "Drakie" in a nauseated voice. I glance at him and we both started laughing unconstrained. We didn't stop until we reached the Library and were forced to quiet down. We took a table in the back, far away from Madam Pince. 

"I already finished all my Arithmancy," I said, more to break the awkward silence more than anything else. "Me too," he returned, "But you needed an excuse desperately and I know for a fact that she doesn't have Arithmancy. Plus, she wouldn't be caught dead in a place where you actually get work done." I nod and sit back in my chair, thinking. "Tell me more about you and your sister."

Erik raises an eyebrow and regards me for a moment. Maybe he won't tell me anything at all. "What do you want to know?" he says finally. "Why the two of you are in different Houses, for one thing," I answer back. "I don't why, either. You'd have to ask her why she's in Ravenclaw."

"Oh." Silence for another minute. "Which one of you is older and by how much?"

"She is, by a month and eight days." I scoff at that. "That's impossible! A day I can understand, but a _month_? I don't buy it." He shrugs nonchalantly. "Fine, then, don't believe it, but it's the truth." More silence. "But _how_?" I burst out, unable to contain my curiosity. He smirked at me and I made myself subdue. "You know for a fact that my family is reputed to be pureblood, Slytherin, and dark, right?" I nod. "Then you probably know first hand that not all Dark wizards are entirely faithful to their wives." Of course. I could kick myself, I should have known..."Then how do you know that you're brother and sister?" I can't help asking.

"We were both a few months old at the time. Whichever of us was the illegit one was given to Father just before his harlot died from some 'unknown reason'. Bullshit, if you ask me, I think Mother found out and confronted him about it, then he killed his wench himself and took whichever of us was the product of his waywardness. Mother decided that it would be best if we had playmates growing up, so that's why we live together."

I was stunned. And I thought I had a bad early life; they didn't even know who their real mother was! At least I knew my parents were my own, if nothing else. "You put it so eloquently," I say delicately. Again, he snorts. "How else is there to say it?" he countered. I shrugged at him, then, "I don't suppose either of you knows which one is the bastard, then." It was a statement, not a question. Erik nodded his agreement, then added, "Mother and Father never speak of it. We asked once and only once. Mother told us that much and then slapped us both for having the cheek to ask. "

I lean my elbows on the table, trying to comprehend everything. All the thoughts whirled around my head, making me dizzy and I had to put my head on my hand. My mistake, because my sleeves fell down and my Mark was shown to everyone with in the area. Erik's eyes narrowed shrewdly as I frantically pulled my robe sleeves over it. I turn my voice to ice. "Speak one word of that to anybody else and your head will be mine on a pike," I threatened. There is a suspicious twinkle to his eyes that wasn't there before. "Oh, rest assured, I won't say or do anything about it. Father's in the process of trying to get me and my sister into it."

"I pity the fool who willingly puts his children up for slaughter," I mutter darkly, meriting a sardonic grin from my companion. And damn it all to hell, he still didn't say her name. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't told anyone that story before. At all. And I don't think I have to ask you more then once to do the same for me...Or 'your head will be mine on a pike'," he said mockingly. "Deal," I said and put out my hand. "Deal," he agreed and we shook on it. The bell rang, signaling us to get to Lunch. Erik got up in his quiet way of his and made for the door. I sat still, reflecting.

Obviously I wasn't the only one who wore a mask to hide themselves.

Obviously people weren't as apparent as I'd thought.

I leaned way back in the chair and ended up falling over backwards.

Obviously this chair didn't know how to stay upright.

Erik turned back at the bang from the chair and shook his head, smiling again. "Draco, aren't you coming? We'll be late to lunch!" Quickly, I righted the chair, snatched my bag, and walked over to meet him, smiling sheepishly at myself. "C'mon, you," he said in his quiet voice. We walked to the Great Hall together.

And most obviously of all, I had a new friend.

A/N: How many Gryffindors does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it heroically, one to be the useless sidekick, and one to research it.

How many Slytherins does it take to change a light bulb? None, they let the Gryffindors do the dirty work.

Ok, that was dumb, yeah, I know...

[1] Crups are found in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, by Newt Scamander and the awesome JK Rowling. 

[2] Same thing as [1] except it's Acromantulas in this case, not crups.


	9. To Trespass Against Us

Father of Mine, Part IX

****

Special Thanks to: 

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Archaic Raven: Seems like your Potter Muse bit quite hard since the last time mine did! I can't wait for the next part of your story, either!

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Galya: I hope you like the rest of it just as much as you liked the first couple of chapters. His PoV is supposed to change.

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Omniscient: I thought the whole idea behind it would intrigue you. Glad to see I was right! ^__^

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Draco Malfoy N Harry Potter: Dear Reader, I wasn't insinuating that you were visually impaired in any sense at all. I wasn't sure you had seen the label or if you had, if you had forgotten it. Sorry if that came across as catty; it wasn't meant to... **:*(**

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draca weasley: *hands you an ice pack* I hope your computer didn't leave a bruise...It would be too simple I just flat-out told you her name! Complexity is key! And would you believe me if I told you that I'm actually _in_ Gryffindor House on a few web sites? LOL! I absolutely _HATE_ Hufflepuff, though, I don't know why. (Sorry, CK!!) I have nothing against the_ people_ in it, cuz it's not their fault they have the qualities of a badger, but maybe because it stole my school's colours...eh. . I dunno. It just doesn't appeal to me to be a type of rodent. However, on harry potter.com, I'm in Slytherin and have no inclination of moving whatsoever.

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anakas: I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it!! I hope this is enough to sate your appetite for now, LoL!

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Cathy Gurl: Can't tell you her name just yet, but I CAN tell you Erik's last name; it's Dannen. 

A/N: As I told Cathy up there *points upwards*, the Dynamic Duo's last name is **Dannen**. Sorry I didn't put that in somewhere, but I forgot all about working it into the conversation. It'll come up in one in here, though, never fear. And umm...there's some 'iffy' type material in here...Forewarned is forearmed. PS: This is probably going to be the longest chapter yet, too. Whew!

**__**

"To Trespass Against Us"

"Much better, Draco, you've almost got it down!" his tutor told him happily. Draco smiled back at her, a pile of silken handkerchiefs beside him instead of the tissues they started out with. Erik applauded from the other end of the table over the mountain of books surrounding him, then went back to flipping through a particularly thick volume, scribbling notes down. "Alright, now change them back."

Draco concentrated hard. In no time at all, his pile of tissues was back and the Ravenclaw smiled brightly at him. "You've got it!" she said,   
"Now let's try something a little harder just to be entirely sure." She took a scrap of plain cotton out, and changed it to a piece of fine velvet. Draco admired the deep red cloth against the polished mahogany table. It looked like sunlight through a chalice of red wine. His thoughts turned abruptly back when she returned it to its original state. The Library was silent except for Erik's quill scratching across a page in his black journal and even that stopped while Draco focused on his task.

"Remember what I taught you..." she whispered to him and he nodded. He took a deep breath, remembering the quality of the velvet, the rich colour of the red and cast his spell. Celebration was cut short by a heavy-sounding thud from Erik dropping a book. Draco looked at his friend quizzically. His face had paled even more so than usual, lips with a bluish cast to them, and his eyes were glassy as he stared straight ahead, never faltering. His hands trembled slightly; it was the only part of him that moved.

"Erik...?"

Draco started to move towards him, intending to shake him awake from whatever nightmare he seemed to be having when his sister put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. "Don't," she said simply, gazing at her brother with an unreadable look, "Let him be." Draco cocked an eyebrow at her, but came back all the same. "What's wrong with him?" Draco asked, a bit unsure. It was awhile before she answered. "He just slips in and out of these little spells; it's nothing to be worried about."

Draco was skeptical; if it was nothing to be worried about, why was she biting her bottom lip and playing with her sleeves? "I think that we're done tutoring today...I'll send Erik along later, I want to talk to him for a bit," she said, staring intently at her brother. Draco quietly gathered up his things and left. Erik didn't even notice when he brushed by.

The Ravenclaw sat down, pressing her fingers to her mouth, waiting for his trance break. She didn't notice the three shadows in the corner whispering in cold hisses or when they got up and slithered out of the Library a minute after Draco. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next couple of weeks passed without incident and Draco realised that the high point of them was when he was with his tutor and House mate. He walked to lunch by himself today, however, Erik wasn't feeling all that well. He felt strangely alone as he sat down. Crabbe and Goyle were being kept by the Defense professor for shooting bewitched spit balls at Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbot in class. Pansy was no where to be found, either. He figured listening to her whine about something was better than nothing, but after listening to the quiet murmur he decided that he liked _not_ having her company at all. Just as he was getting up to leave, his Ravenclaw tutor hurried up to him and clutched his arm.

"What's wrong?" Draco questioned, catching her worried look. "Erik collapsed. Just before he reached the infirmary. I'm sorry to cancel today, but I have to watch over him," she explained in clipped tones. Draco's jaw dropped. "Is he alright? What happened? I knew he wasn't-" She cut him off with a shake of her head. "It's happened before, he'll be up and in classes tomorrow. It's just, well, it occurs just often enough to not be alarming, but scarcely enough to make it odd." Draco nodded slowly, trying to process it. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, then. Give him my best and that I expect him to make mayhem for at least fifteen Hufflepuffs when he's recovered."

She found a smile for him and squeezed his arm gently. "I will," she promised, eyes sparkling. Then she went out of the Great Hall and he went to class.

When 4:30 rolled around, Draco had nothing to do. He didn't want to do homework just yet, either. _I wonder how Professor Snape's doing..._ He hadn't been there in so long, he wouldn't be surprised if Snape had locked his office. Draco dashed down the corridor and through the dank dungeon passageways, hoping against hope that the door was still open. Panting, he tried the knob. It worked! He pushed the door open quietly only to be greeted by Snape slamming a book down on the desk and snapping irritably, "What is it _now_, Minerva? Haven't I already promised to-oh...Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Draco stared at him. _No kidding you thought I was somebody else._

"Don't just stand there lurking in the doorway, it's _rude_! Come in, by all means."

Draco smirked at him and pushed the door all the way open. "Having a tough time with McGonagall?" he asked playfully. Snape smirked back at him, "Haven't we all at one point or another? So....stranger, how has your life been? I'd begun to think that you'd forgotten me since you discovered a few people your own age to pester."

Draco closed the door behind him and settled into his old armchair in front of the fire and Snape sat in his usual spot. "Have you found out her name yet?" Snape asked, remembering their last conversation. Draco grimaced. "No," he said dejectedly, "She still hasn't told me and Erik won't, either." Snape thought a moment, flames reflecting darkly in his languid black eyes as he stared in the grate. 

"I wonder..."

"What?"

Snape answered him by getting up and retrieving his grade book, flipping through it to the 6th years. "Erik Dannen?" he asked. Draco nodded. Snape frowned as he turned the page, perusing it for all he was worth. "What year is his sister in?"

"Mine, of course! You should know that!"

"Relax, Draco, I was just clarifying...There's no other Dannen in Slytherin sixth year."

"Well, she's in Ravenclaw, so of course she's not in Slytherin. You honestly make me wonder at times..."

"As do you, rest assured. (flip, flip, flip) Dannen...Dannen..."

Draco thought as his teacher looked for the Ravenclaw No-name. Half the fun of being with his friends was not knowing her name. It added a mysterious quality to the relationship, one that all three enjoyed.

"Ah-HA! Found her!"

"Don't tell me her name, please."

Snape looked at him, perplexed. "Don't you want to know?"

"Well, I do, but I'd rather find out from her."

"Ah. Understood. You made me go through all that work for nothing, then." Snape put the grade book back on his desk and sank wearily back into his armchair. 

"How typical of a Malfoy."

"And what is that s'posed to mean, eh?"

"Oh, nothing at all...So you'd rather find out her name by gaining her trust first?"

"Makes it more interesting, don't you think, Professor?"

"Oh yes, mind games are always fun to play, especially when there is female company involved."

"You think this is all a mind game?"

"Quite so. And I think you're being foolish to play it."

"Be that as it may..."

"It's your life, Draco, I don't want to tell you how to live it."

"Alright. I'll still play her little game."

"And?"

"If I can't find out within the next month, I'll take you up on your offer and look it up in your grade book."

"Also quite typical of a Malfoy..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco went to breakfast alone again the next day to find Erik sitting at the table, looking pale but functional. He gave him a weak smile as he sat down across the way from him. "How're you doing, mate? Alright?" Erik nodded his response. "I'm too tired to move at the moment, but I'll live..." he said after a few minutes of silence, "How about you?" Draco said that the common room wasn't the same with out him disturbing it with his quietness. Professor Snape loomed over the table.

"Welcome back, Erik. I trust you're feeling better?"

"Quite well, sir," came the soft answer.

"Good," Snape said disinterestedly, "Draco, I just received a letter from your father that I want to discuss with you later. Come whenever you can."

Draco furrowed his brow and agreed. Snape went back to the Head Table. "What was that all about?" Erik asked. "I have no clue..." Draco replied. 

***

A few days later, a school owl dropped an unmarked envelope in front of Draco. Cautiously he opened it. A small slip of parchment dropped out.

__

Draco ~

I have something important to tell you. Meet me at the usual tutoring table in the Library tonight at 7:30. Leave my dopey brother in the common room, he already knows what I'm going to say. 

A fancy D was stamped at the bottom. Draco tucked it into his Potions notebook and put it out of his head.

***

Draco stormed into the common room at 8:30. Erik looked up, startled. Scowling, his blonde friend plopped into the chair at his table and crossed his arms in the characteristic bad humour everyone seemed to be in lately. "What happened," he sighed. Draco snapped, "You're sister stood me up, that's what!" Erik looked at him skeptically. "I don't think she would."

"Well, she did! And I have proof, too! She sent me a note this morning."

"Lemme see that..."

Draco pulled the note out of his Potions pad and shoved it across the table to his companion. He stared venomously at the black journal Erik had been writing in, willing it to catch fire. Erik started laughing coldly and tossed the piece of paper back at him. "Just what is so funny?" Draco demanded.

"That's not my sister's handwriting..."

***

The Ravenclaw walked down a deserted corridor. Torches threw weird shadows through the suits of armor lining the walls. _How incredibly rude of him to do that_, she thought angrily, struggling not to cry, _Sending an owl to meet me then not even showing up. And in the dungeons, too! HONESTLY._ She didn't notice a shadow slip behind her and start trailing. _And to think I was about to tell him my name_. She wiped a tear that had stubbornly fallen. Two more shadows slipped behind her. _I _thought _I'd be able to trust_-

She was thrown against the stone wall suddenly, smacking her head on the jagged stone with a sharp crack. Two beefy hands locked around her throat and a hulking, masked figure towered next to her. A pair of thinner robe-and-masks were standing in front of her. "So..." one hissed nastily, "...you thought you could weasel him away from me, didn't you?" 

The Ravenclaw had a bit of trouble drawing enough air. "I don't know what you're talking about," she spat as well as she could at them. The pair of hands around her neck tightened convulsively.

"I think you do," said the mask menacingly, "You know perfectly well what I mean." A hand slithered out of the robe and pulled down the hood. Pansy Parkinson leered at her unpleasantly. "My friends and I," she gestured to the other robed figures, "felt that your trespass against us was unforgivable. And now, you Ravenclaw bitch, must pay the price for the insubordination."

"For _what_?" she demanded, choking slightly. "For being a whore!" Pansy snapped back, "For stealing _my_ Draco from me!!" She could only see stars now; the meaty hands were slowly but surely crushing the life out of her. "I haven't done anything of the sort," she managed to gasp.

"Cavorting with Draco is one thing," a new voice piped up, "But then sneaking behind his back with Erik is another." This voice was even more poisonous than Pansy's had been.

"Oh yes, I see now, I'm just Slytherin's Wench, just being passed around!" she said sarcastically, clutching feebly at the hands 'round her throat.

"So she admits it! How touching..." the new voice said, equally sardonic. The new voice pulled off their mask and Blaise Zambini's cold stare pierced her to the bone. Black spots took the place of the stars as she fought to keep consciousness. "What're you going to do to me?" 

"Anxious little twerp, I see," he sneered, "I like that in my women." Pansy shrieked, "NOW, Milli!" and the hands around her neck pinned her arms neatly above her head. A rush of fresh air filled her lungs, clearing her fog-logged thoughts. She kicked out at Millicent, but her captor was too strong. She was thrown to the ground on her back, arms still caught above her head. Pansy and Blaise smirked cruelly at her. 

"You wouldn't," she said hatefully. Pansy responded by going to help Millicent hold her hands down. Blaise simply regarded her coolly, eyes gleaming with the predatory glee of a difficult prey finally caught. "Oh, but I would," he hissed lowly and threw himself on top of her, roughly ripping at her robes. She started screaming bloody murder and thrashed wildly. "HOLD-her-_DOWN_!" Blaise snapped, struggling for a hold on her hips. "AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" she snarled, viciously rocking from side to side in the effort to throw him off. "Shut the fuck up!" he grumbled and slapped her forcefully across the mouth.

She tasted blood.

***

Erik threw his quill down again, sending emerald ink spatters all the way over to Draco's side of the table. Draco sighed and looked up, exasperated. This must have been the 50th time at least. "_What_?" 

"It's just a feeling I have."

"Explain."

"Restless, you know? Like I'm supposed to be in a certain area."

"Oh. Did you forget to do something?"

"I don't think so."

He picked up his quill and toyed with the nib, staining his fingers bright green. Draco silently went back to work, but couldn't concentrate. Erik was upset beyond belief and he just couldn't work with that much tension nearby. He sighed, "D'you want to go walk it out of your system? I need a break anyway." Erik nodded, "I thought you'd never ask."

Together they slid out of the common room and into the hallways. After the traditional few minutes of not talking, Draco asked, "Why're you so uptight tonight?" Erik shrugged. "I dunno. Sometimes I just get the urge to go find something."

"Find something."

"Yeah, like I have to go search for what's making me so restless. Then I'll be walking around in random places or talking to K-to my sister and it goes away."

Draco frowned and sharpened his ears; Erik had almost slipped. His House mate being unable to sit still was becoming a frequent problem. Erik had already gone through 12 quills in the last week and he was genuinely worried for his friend. Erik had shown him the black journal only last night. It was filled with symbols, dreams, and visions that he'd been having for years. He and his sister had taken the task of deciphering them upon themselves. Draco thought it was the neatest thing in the world.

__

I'd like to kill the sonuvabitch who set me up.

"I want to know who it is too, but I'd torture them a bit before I'd take their life," Erik said nonchalantly. Draco stared at him. "Wh-What did you say?" he stammered. Erik gave him a Look. "I said I'd torture before I'd kill, why?" Draco stared at him, then replied, "Because I didn't say anything aloud."

Erik stared right back. "You didn't? I heard you say you wanted to kill whoever set you up quite distinctly."

"When?"

"Just now."

Draco stopped dead. "Whoa....back-track a second...I _thought_ that, but I didn't _say_ it!"

Erik closed his eyes tiredly and put a hand to his forehead. "Not again," he sighed. Before Draco could even open his mouth, Erik was already explaining. "It only happens with people who I have particularly strong bonds with. If their emotions are running high or they're stressed, I can 'hear' their thoughts...in a manner of speaking." He slumped against the wall as if he couldn't stand up any longer. "Erik...? All you alright?" Draco asked. He didn't want his friend to faint again. 

"No, I'm fine. Just tired, like I said before." 

"Ok..."

They walked a few more minutes in silence further into the dungeons when Erik clutched at his head again. "Aaaaah......!" he gasped. Draco pushed him against the wall, peering at him fearfully. "What? What is it? Tell me what's wrong!" he demanded. "It feels...like...my brain...can't...breathe! Oowwwwwwww..." Draco didn't know what to do. "Uh...do you just want to sit here until it goes away?" he asked uncertainly.

"I think I should go to the infirmary again. Can you go get Madam Pomfrey?" Draco nodded mutely. "Thanks."

Erik sank down into a listless heap as Draco quickly mapped out the quickest way to the hospital wing and jogged off. _Passage on the left....tapestry straight ahead, turn right...three doors down...past Ravenclaw statue and another right..._

Glancing left and right, he was uneasy. He wasn't particularly familiar with this part of the school. He took the right and started counting doors. _Oops, too far, that was four._ He found the statue that marked the Ravenclaw common room entrance and took a right. The torches flickered ominously and the armor seemed to follow his hurried footsteps. The deserted passage banked left and he nearly stumbled on something on the floor. He gasped as he caught on to the scene before him and launched himself at Blaise. 

"OOOOF!!" His Ravenclaw's eyes were wide with fright and pain as she watched the two boys fighting. Pansy and Millicent had bound her hand, mouth, and foot and went to find some instrument to extend the torture. Blaise hadn't been able to get very far when Draco pounced on him, which was a _very_ good thing. _ERIK!!!! Why aren't you answering me?!?_ she screamed in her head. Blaise had managed to get Draco pinned and was about to cast a spell to truss him up like herself when Draco's fist shot out and caught him squarely on the nose.

Crimson blood flowed. Draco's hand hurt like the dickens, but it had gotten him free. _Erik, if you can hear me, get help! NOW! Get Professor Snape!!!!_ His thoughts were jerked back to the fight when Blaise ripped his fingernails over his cheek. "Bastard!!" he howled. He happened to take a tiny bit of pride in his looks. After all, he _was_ a Malfoy. By blood and by name. Blotches of liquid fire flew over the walls, the robes, and smeared across their knuckles as the boys furiously pummeled each other.

Pounding footsteps echoed down the corridor. _Help at last!_ Draco looked up eagerly, hoping to see his Head's face, but was sadly disappointed when Pansy and Millicent arrived. Each were carrying suspicious-looking packages. Pansy's face turned an unflattering shade of purple as she saw her plan come undone. Millicent just watched dumbly. "Get him, Blaise!" 

"And what is this?" a cold voice said, dangerously quiet. Everybody froze and looked up at the figure swathed in black that loomed over them. Professor Snape's eyes glittered ominously as he surveyed the tied girl, the blood, the forgotten wands, the ripped robes, and the students faces in various shades of pale. Slight panting was heard and Draco slid his eyes to look behind the dark form of his teacher to see Erik leaning against the wall, white as a ghost and breathing hard. Blaise and Draco sprang apart.

Snape walked noiselessly over to the Ravenclaw, and gazed at her for a moment, face expressionless. She shamefully turned her head to the side, tears running down her cheeks. He knelt down and pulled off his cloak, gently draping it over her. Then he cautiously unbound her mouth and hands, leaving her to release her feet. Still looking at the Ravenclaw, he said in the same dangerous voice, "All four of you, by the wall. Erik, stay where you are." All Slytherins sans Erik moved slowly towards the wall, heads hung in anticipation of punishment. Professor Snape let minor things slide in classes, but when they were caught in red-handed in the middle of nothing less of a crime, they knew they would get quite a beating.

The Ravenclaw No-name wrapped herself up in the huge black cloak, huddling into a ball on the floor. Snape stood up and faced his students. No one said a word as he glared icily at them. "What- the-_hell_-were-you-_thinking_??" he burst out suddenly, the roar echoing around the hall. A few bats skittered out, cheeping in fear from the unexpected wave of noise. The four of them cowered visibly as he berated them.

"You are all an absolute disgrace to Slytherin! Are you deliberately _trying_ to bring dishonour to your families as well as your House? This is inexcusable!!"

"Sir..."

"SILENCE!!!!" Snape thundered, eyes flashing with dark fire, "You do not have the right to speak at this point in time!" He glared at them all in turn, arms crossed across his chest in disgust. "Blaise. Explain." Blaise kept his eyes down as he remained silent. Neither Pansy nor Millicent would speak a word, either. Snape turned to Draco, mouth set in a firm line. "You had better be able to find your voice in this mess, Malfoy, or each and everyone of you will be expelled without honours."

Draco took a shaky breath and explained that he had seen Blaise in a somewhat compromising situation and didn't think when he tackled him. He had expected Blaise to run off, but he fought back instead. Draco hadn't realised that he had tied the girl down. Snape rounded on Blaise and the boy started trembling. "Now...Zambini, you will tell me _in full_ what you had planned, what you did and what you were planning to do if Malfoy hadn't stopped you." 

Blaise licked his lips nervously. "I...well, I..." he stammered. Snape's face was truly frightening in the flickering torchlight. "You are in fact more spineless than I had initially thought if you can't even tell me what you were going to do," his teacher snapped, disdained. Blaise raised his eyes hatefully to Snape's and lost all nerve at the fathomless black boring into his own watery eyes. "I was going to rape her," he mumbled. "And why on earth would you want to do something that brainless?" Snape spat.

"Ask Pansy! She came up with the idea!" Blaise shot her a nasty look as he protested. "Really..." Snape looked at her coldly and she flinched, expecting the worst, "And I presume Bulstrode was just the henchman?" The three of them nodded uncertainly. "Learn to think for yourself, Zambini. You have a brain. Use it! And Miss Parkinson, you certainly decided to use it and I applaud your efforts." Pansy's shoulders relaxed a bit. "_However_..." he continued and they tightened right back up, "I do NOT approve of the way in which you decided to apply your skills. Your grade in Potions could have used that bit of sheer brilliance to bring you even relatively _near_ passing range. Now it's your turn to justify your reasons for attempting to ruin somebody's life."

"She annoyed me," Pansy said quietly. Snape wrinkled his nose in distaste. "You find it reasonable to beat a person into submission by force simply because they _annoyed you_?? I expected better of you...This Ravenclaw is more Slytherin than the three of you combined! I'm sick of this nonsense and I'll leave it to the Headmaster to decide what to do with you. Since you see it fit to be cryptic and all, I have no choice. Follow me." They immediately protested.

"No!"

"You can't be serious!"

"She was stealing my boyfriend from me!" Draco scoffed at that.

"She's a _Ravenclaw_!!!"

"What's more, she's not even _pureblood_!"

"You always tell us to stand up for our beliefs and we are!"

Snape rounded on them again and silenced them in a second. "Erik, would care to explain to your fellow classmates exactly why you and Draco befriended this girl?"

Erik looked up at them and scowled. "She's as pure as any of you. I should know, because she's my sister. She's been helping Malfoy with his Transfiguration homework." All of their faces drooped with self-pity and misery as they found all of their presumptions wrong. Pansy looked exceedingly sick. "Well...now that we've told you why, we'll just be getting to bed....G'nite, Professor!" Millicent said cheerily and the three of them tried scooting by. "Just a moment...Haven't you forgotten a little detour?" Snape asked.

They turned around guiltily. "We still have to pay Dumbledore a visit..." They groaned and followed their Head of House, discouraged. "And I want you two to take her back to my office." Snape called over his shoulder. Then they were gone.

"Oh my god. Erik!!" She threw her arms around her brother and he allowed himself to hug her back for once. "I was so scared..._so fucking scared!!!_" Draco hung back in the shadows, unsure of what to do. She sobbed into her brother's shoulder, babbling incoherently. After awhile, the tears abated and she composed herself somewhat. Erik offered a hand to help her up, but she ignored it, determined to do it herself. Snape's long cloak dropped to the floor and the damage done to her was visible: Robes torn, red marks and angry bruises dotted her thighs, finger marks and scratches with dots of blood seeping through the shredded skin. She had a scarlet swipe across her cheek from where Blaise had slapped her and her wrists were chaffed and cracked from the ropes. Draco picked up the cape and wrapped her in it with a kind-heartedness he didn't know he had. They silently made their way back to the Dungeons.

***

A few hours later, the three of them were sitting in silence, each curled up in one of the armchairs in front of the fire in their own little worlds, staring at the dancing flames. Erik stood up, said he was going to the infirmary like he should have a loooooong time ago, and shuffled out. Draco promised not to leave until the Professor came back. The Ravenclaw didn't even notice when her brother left. A single tear dripped out of the corner of her eye. "It's okay to cry if you want...I don't mind," Draco said softly.

"I hate them," she said flatly, refusing to let any more tears come, "And to think I longed to be in their group, too." Draco was shocked. "You wanted to be in Slytherin? Oh, Hades, _why_?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Make my father proud."

Draco could hardly believe it. He thought that he was the only one who cared about what their father thought about them. Then he figured that that was a rather dull-witted assumption on his part. He found himself wanting to tell her that he, too, yearned to make his father proud one day, but didn't want to go about it in the way his father wanted him to. He couldn't find the words to express it, though. He felt positively helpless.

"Slytherin isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know..." he said finally.

"I know."

"Then why-"

"-Do you know how unusual it is for a Dannen to be in any other House than Slytherin? It's about as common as a Malfoy getting into Gryffindor."

"Really."

"Horrible, isn't it?"

"Umm..."

"Father didn't give a rat's ass; as long as Erik got in, the line would be fine and still 'pure Slytherin'." She scoffed. "You might have heard he's trying to get us into the Dark Lord's circle?" Draco nodded. "Well, so far, he hasn't been able to meet with him and arrange when our initiation is. I hope it's soon."

"I know this is going to sound redundant, but why would you want to be a Death Eater? It sucks!" She threw him a sharp look. "I see," she said curtly, "I want to prove myself to Father; to show that I'm _not_ a failure to the family. If I can raise myself up in rank in the Death Eaters, I can still bring honour to them!"

Draco felt the blood drain from his face as he heard what he used to think be spoken aloud. "And do you want to know something else?" she barreled on, anger flowing through her like poison. She was on a roll now; all the rage she had repressed was surfacing. "Because Erik and I aren't full brother and sister, Father is trying to arrange a _marriage_ between us! A marriage!! Can you believe it?" Draco put his hand gently on her shoulder to comfort her, but she jerked away.

"Don't touch me..." she snapped, "Not just yet." 

"There is a loophole that would enable you to get out of the marriage and bring a certain type of honour to your family, you know," a low voice broke in. Both students looked up to see Professor Snape standing in front of the door. "If you were to marry into a certain family of prestige and money, and one of old pure blood, you would bring a _great_ tribute to your family...Draco, if you don't mind, I need to talk to her alone for a few moments." Draco nodded and went out into the hallway. He heard Snape's low voice sound the most gentle he had ever heard it as the teacher asked sensitive questions.

After about ten minutes, Snape opened the door and said, "If you would please take her back to Ravenclaw?" 

"Sure thing, Professor."

Snape held the door for her to go through. She turned to gaze at him and said, "Do you want your cloak back? I have no need of it." He shook his head softly and said, "I'll retrieve it before breakfast in the morning. Never you mind about it."

"Thank you, sir..." and she wrapped the cloak around her more securely. Draco set off silently, waiting for her to talk. When they reached the hallway of the incident, she turned to him suddenly. "I want to see it," she said. Draco looked at her imploringly. "The Dark Mark. I want to see it," she explained. "Oh," he said, a bit uncomfortable as he rolled up his sleeve. The Mark gleamed up at them, a dull red against ashy white in the glowing torches. She lightly took his arm and brought it close to her face, inspecting it, large eyes focusing entirely. Draco looked away; the very sight of it turned his stomach. 

He felt something feather-soft touch his arm and looked down to see her pressing her lips to the Mark in a chaste kiss, lashes half-obscuring her beautiful eyes. Then she looked up, locking her gaze into his steel grey one. "Do not be ashamed. For anything," she whispered intently, not blinking. "I do not feel shame, only contempt for this...this..._thing_ on my arm," he said forcefully. She smiled at him and ignored the comment. "My knight in obsidian armor. Always coming to my rescue. I thank you," and she gave him the same kiss on his cheek, lashes brushing where Blaise had slashed, sending shivers down Draco's spine. She let go of his arm and backed into the shadows.

"And my name is Keira." 

A/N: Whew!! It's finally finished!! Ok, I can NOT write action for all the money in the world...sorry for those of you who like reading good action; this ain't the place to find it, I'm sorry to say. ^__^ I'm also sorry to have it jump from one point in time to another (so choppy!!!), but it was the best way I could find how to do it. and THIS STILL IS NOT A ROMANCE! I know it seems that way right now, but it is NOT!!! AND you know her name now! Aren't you so lucky? LoL...yeeeeeeah. I'll shut up about now. I have a request from a friend at school to put Snape in bare feet somewhere in here, so maybe that'll be in the next installment, I dunno...anybody who wants to see Snape with no shoes or socks on (and quite possibly no shirt, either! ^__~) raise their hands!! 


	10. Knight in Obsidian Armor

Father of Mine, part X

A/N: No, I haven't forgotten it. So many other things to do lately, what with a HUGE English project and Track and Prom sh*t...*siiiiigh*

PS: Nobody picked up on the little 'Three Doors Down' thing I stuck in there, either! LOL You know, when Draco's mapping out directions to the infirmary...? Meh. Forget it.

****

SPECIAL THANKS: Omniscient, Draco Malfoy 'n Harry Potter, annakas, Auroress13, Archaic Raven, chochang913, candledot, and twilite.

**__**

Knight In Obsidian Armor

She called me her 'knight in obsidian armor'. Not shining. Obsidian. _Black_. _Dark_. _Evil_. That's all I'll ever be to anyone. All I'll be seen as; described as. And yet she kissed me. Sweet passion that lit a fire in me in that instant, melting all the ice that flowed through my veins. In that one perfect moment, I felt that I could be just like everyone else in the world. That I could be _human_, that it was okay to feel emotions and to show them, too. It made me feel lyrical and I told Professor Snape, aKa Father, as much.

"Well, you might _feel_ like a poet, but you _sound_ like an idiot."

Such was his response, and rather a rather blunt one at that. I blushed crazily and he just smiled and shook his head. Thinking about Keira makes me think about Erik. 

Poor chap. He's been so pale and, well, _transparent_ looking lately, it's a wonder how he can even function in the morning. His skin is so ashen that his lips have a strange bluish cast to them and so do his fingernails. If I look carefully enough, I can see the purplish veins snake around his wrists and his hands, through his skin; like looking through a frosted glass potions bottle. Lately, it's been getting worse and worse. I worry about him. I think Keira does too, but she never says anything about it to me other than to "keep an eye on him, please." Nothing more, nothing less.

When everybody else is asleep, I sit up and watch him slumber. Queer, yes, I know, you don't need to tell me that, but then again I'm not like other people. Erik isn't either, apparently. He looks so troubled while he dreams. Everyone else has these untroubled, no-worries, no-cares faces. He tosses and turns and twists himself in the bedclothes...on occasion, he's sat bolt upright in the middle of the night, reaching out for a comforting person to hold. But nobody is ever there. Sometimes he cries, but whether it is in sadness, fear, or something else altogether I know not. I think if I had a heart, it would break.

He has a way of melting into the background like a wraith, a shadow, that you wouldn't even notice except for the fact that it's so cold. Lifeless. Like his eyes. They frighten even me at times, with the intensity of the blue and the inhuman quality of them. Keira's eyes, on the other hand, are bright; vivacious even. They tell of good times had by all and of summer fun. They tell of the desire in every human being and of the suffering too. They bare her soul for the world to see, if only people would look closer. She could never belong in Slytherin House no matter how hard she tried. She shows her emotions entirely too easily. A pity, because she would add so much to the mix.

And the way Erik's always so silent. Keira is such a chatterbox next to him! It's almost as though he's afraid to speak at times. I get the feeling that he doesn't really connect with anybody; not even me. His sister is the only one who really understands him. She's the only one he lets close. They share a bond that reaches beyond all understanding of mine. They don't even need to speak to each other to understand what they need to say. They both are on another level. I yearn to grasp it and become part of it. 

Tonight, however, I consult the mirror again. I've been avoiding it lately. Stripped down to my boxers, I sit precariously on the ledge of the sink, gazing into the glass. 

What a sorry sight greets me: A scrawny, pale boy straining against what he is destined to become. Sorrowful grey eyes peer listlessly out of a sharp face. It doesn't look like me. What I mean is, it _is_ me, and it's how I _look_, but I don't think that's really my reflection at all. It is the same with all the photographs of me; I know it's me, but it feels as if I'm looking at another person. _This isn't me_, I think, _this is not me at all..._

I pull my face into a smirk. Still, I don't recognise it. A smile. Same. A frown, a lopsided grin. Nothing at all. No recollection of myself whatsoever in that face, that mask, that is mine in the mirror. I cover my face with my hands, sighing. I don't know what to think anymore. About anything. I am a Death Eater. I bear the Mark of the Dark; the Damned. I am a Malfoy, bred to kill with killer instincts and a killer's cold heart. My reflection shows all of that, but it doesn't show _me_. 

I remember my father showing me my reflection in the fountain in the South Garden one time when I was six years old. _ "Tell me what you see," he said. I replied, "I see myself. And I see you, Father. I see you."_

"Very good, Draco. What else do you see?"

"I see the trees, and the flowers, and-"

"No, Draco, you do not. You see what you are now and what you are to become. You will become like me, my boy. My son_. You are of the Malfoy line and must carry on our name and our noble duty, to serve the Dark Lord and his purposes. You see your future in me."_

"My future?"

He put a cold hand on my shoulder, gripping it like a falcon does his prey.

"You said it yourself: You see me in the water there. I_ am what you will become. My father showed me, his father showed him, and you will show your son when it is time. Trust in me on this one, Draco. Trust me."_

I was naive then, I know that now. What more could a young boy have wanted than to be exactly like his father? I took the pains to imitate everything he did. His expressions. His cool, collected manners. How he treated servants and his opinions of others. And his beliefs. 

I shudder to think of how I wanted to be like him. Fuck that, I wanted to BE him, not _like_ him. And in wanting it, I became dependent on his approval for everything that I did, no matter how insignificant the task. I uncovered my face and stared hard at the looking glass again. This time there was no emotion. No expression. A carefully drained visage which gave no hint of the pain, the suffering, the torture, the turmoil that went on behind it. 

I squared my shoulders and breathed deeply. What I saw was no longer an innocent little six year old.

__

Tell me what you see....

I saw glittering silver eyes which held no warmth in them, no love

__

Tell me what you see...

I saw a hardened criminal waiting for his chance to come into his glory of the Dark Arts and his triumph over the death of his enemies.

__

Tell me what you see...

I saw the shell of a person; of one who had no soul, no bearing, no purpose.

__

Tell me what you see...

I saw the Knight in Obsidian Armor, the Saviour to some, the Angel of Death to others.

But I still did not see me in the mirror.

A/N: YAY, he found the mirror again! Wheeeeeeee! I wanted to put something like that in for so long now and I finally have. Yippee for me, huh? Seriously, though, think about this: Can you actually see yourself for what you are, truly, when you look in the mirror or in a picture of yourself? I can't. I see an imposter, a fake, a doppelganger of me who looks like me but isn't really. I know for a fact that it is me in there, but I have yet to identify with it. So in a sense, it is not me in the image, it is only a double. A mimic. I know it is me, but at the same time it is not. I really don't know how else to put it or how to make you understand how I think of it. But next time you see yourself, just ponder a bit on it: Is it really you in there? Or is it just an image of what you want people to see?


	11. In the Holiday Spirit

Father of Mine, Part XI

author: potionsmaster

rating: PG-13

****

SPECIAL THANKS: _Arilla_, _Draco Malfoy N Harry Potter_, _Kay_, _annakas_, _hippogriff-tamer_, _Auroress 13_, _DragonBreath_, and _Omniscient_.

A/N: If this seems ANYTHING at all like any other story you've read, I am sorry. It wasn't intended and I've had the basic story line down in my ever since I wrote the first chapter. I guess some people have the same ideas as me sometimes. Anyway...Time has a way of moving quickly in here, simply because I don't feel like reporting every move he makes. Christmas is almost here! Christmas is almost here! Only about, hmmmmmm, I dunno...5 more months! LOL Guess what THIS chapter's about??? However, Christmas cheer seems to be rather short in supply...

**__**

In the Holiday Spirit

Snape sent the list around Slytherin House for people who wanted to stay at the castle during the holidays. Draco scowled as he passed it across the table to Erik; Lucius wanted him home this time. "Business meetings and you were missed at the Christmas party last year," he had written. Draco could read between the lines on that one. Any _business_ his biological father wanted him involved in could only mean Dark Arts or Death Eater related. He really couldn't understand the Christmas party bit, though, he was always shoved into the background. 

"I don't see why I have to go this time," he complained to Professor Snape back in his office when the letter had come a while back. Snape gave him a patronising look.

"In all truth, I wish you didn't have to go home, either, but that's mainly a selfish motive on my part. You make for an interesting conversation when nobody else is around. But I understand where you're coming from."

"I guess I'm old enough to partake in whatever they disappeared into the drawing room for after dessert. Joy."

Snape snorted and started rifling through his desk drawer again. "...where is it....where'd I put it?....*sigh*..."

Draco was curious. "What're you looking for?"

"...just a little...thing. It's nothing trivial, but it had a lot of sentimental value." He shut the drawer, looked at his pocket watch, and sighed again. "Dinner's in a minute, you might want to run along."

Draco had scampered off, wondering what his teacher was looking for, but all thoughts of it had been lost later that night when circumstances had let him learn Keira's name.

Now he was facing exactly what he didn't want to: seeing his family and going to the Ball that his parents had held ever year for all of the 'business associates' and their 'friends'. In other words, everybody who was anybody involved with the Dark Arts came, got drunk, and went into the drawing room for Lord knew what. Then they did it again at New Years. And this year, Draco was expected to join them. Unenthusiastically, he folded his school robes, packed up a few essentials he'd need, stuffed his books into his back pack, fastened his heavy winter cloak, and started to drag the trunk down the stone steps with a reverberating _*THUNK* step *THUNK* step *THUNK* step_ on every other one. The common room was deserted and the fire in the grate burned low, looking lonely and forgotten. 

He dropped his trunk in the middle of the hallway and pushed his way into Snape's office. Nobody was there except a lone candle, so he continued into further into the room and went through another door to his private chambers. The sight that greeted him shocked him slightly. His teacher had a merry blaze going in the fireplace, many candles were lit and floating, a ball of _something_ was burning slowly and giving off a sickly sweet smell. Piano music tinkled gently, seemingly coming from all sides of the room. The Professor himself was curled up at one end of his couch facing the fire, a glass of red wine in one hand, a book in the other. The most _unusual_ aspect of it was that he was still in his pajamas: a simple pair of hunter green pajama pants with no specific print on them and that was it; no shirt to speak of. His feet were bare, but tucked into the bottom of the pant legs to keep them warm.

"There _is_ such a thing as _knocking_, you know...." he informed his student dryly, without looking up from his book. Draco flushed slightly and came further into the welcoming room. Snape closed the book with a snap and set it down carefully on the coffee table next to the bottle of wine. "I'd offer you some, but you are under aged and I don't wish to get myself into trouble anymore than I absolutely have to," he said, still with that dry tone, "I suppose you want to say good-bye before you get on the train?" Draco nodded, still a bit pink about the ears. He'd never seen his teacher in anything but robes and having him partially unclad was slightly alarming. His teacher didn't appear to notice his discomfort. "Well then...Good Bye."

"Good Bye, Professor..." Draco got up abruptly and started towards the door.

"Was there anything _else_ you wanted to talk about before you get on your train?" Draco stopped dead. "There was something, wasn't there?"

"I...just...I don't know..." he turned around again to face his mentor, "I'm still having misgivings about going home for the holidays."

"And you're afraid that you won't survive without anybody to confide in." _Hit the nail on the head, you did...._

"Yes."

"Well, you'll see me. You won't be able to talk to me the way you want to, but you will see me; I can guarantee it."

Draco sighed with relief, tension flowing out of his shoulders visibly. "Then I guess I'll see you later, Professor." He turned once more for the door, but Snape piped up again.

"You didn't want to say anything else? Nothing at all?"

Draco smirked impishly back at his teacher. "Nope." He left with a swirl of his black cloak.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Crabbe and Goyle ate, slept, and went off to terrorize the 1st through 3rd years from all Houses at Draco's bidding; he didn't feel like moving from his seat. He gazed morosely out the window on his left, watching the flashing white of the country side. "Well, well, well...fancy meeting you here," a warm voice told him. He jumped and wound up smacking his head on the window. Scowling, he rubbed his head and turned to see who had dared to break his contemplation. Keira smirked at him, and Erik stepped in, closing the compartment door behind him. He felt his scowl melt away into disbelief. "I thought you two were staying!" he replied, dumbstruck. Keira just grinned at him. Erik shook his head. "Nope...we're wanted on the home-front, too...Father said he had a surprise for us. I know that we're supposed to go to a fancy party for New Years, though."

Draco felt a drop of ice settle nicely in the pit of his bowels at that. "You looking forward to it?" he asked non-chalantly, gesturing for the others to take a seat. Erik plunked down opposite him and Keira next to her brother, tucking her legs up underneath her. Draco was reminded of Professor Snape earlier. "I have mixed feelings about it," Erik said coolly, "But it's probably going to be boring as hell...He said that we were also going to be staying at one of his 'friend's' houses. I can only imagine that it's one of the Death Eaters." At that, he rolled his eyes and Keira scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around his left one, resting her head on his shoulder. Draco raised an eyebrow at Erik's generalisation and he looked properly abashed.

"You're awfully quiet," he directed towards her. Erik snickered. "Yeah...for once. She usually never shuts up." He glanced down at her and her death grip on his arm. "Are you planning on moving anytime soon?" he asked. "Mmmmmm....no. I don't think so..." she replied, cocking her head at him with a playful smile. 

"And what if I have to use the latrine?"

"You'll just have to drag me, now, won't you?"

Erik shuddered at the prospect and Draco laughed. They spent the rest of the ride in a silent camaraderie.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Back at Malfoy Manor, the house elves were fussing about, the cook was being particularly snappish, and Lucius was in his element. "Draco, this year is a good one...The Dark Lord himself is coming for a time! You'll be able to directly pay your allegiance to him..." He walked off to oversee a few bedrooms that were being made ready for friends and the drop of ice in Draco's stomach started to spread. He went off to find Narcissa.

"Mother...? Mother!" He spent a half hour calling for her, wandering all around the mansion, getting kicked out of rooms by butlers and maids, being pushed out politely and hurriedly by the house elves, and being mocked at by the paintings of his ancestors for "...crying for his mummy!" Draco just scowled at them darkly as he went back to his rooms. He found his personal attendant, Todd, humming, lighting the fire and straightening pillows on his bed. 

"_Ahem_..." he cleared his throat and Todd dropped a pillow in surprise, whipping around. "A good valet is _never_ surprised, Todd. You ought to know that," Draco said severely, drawing himself up to his full height. Todd turned his eyes down and nodded. "Yes, sir...It will never happen again..." he replied softly. Draco kept up the imperious air for a few moments longer and could see his servant's shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter and he couldn't help it anymore; he started laughing, too. Todd looked up, dark eyes sparkling and a smile spreading on his tired face as he opened his arms. Draco flew to him. "Oh, it's good to have you back!" the servant said happily, closing his arms around the teenager. Draco closed his eyes and hugged Todd tightly. "I wish I could say it felt good to _be_ back, but...." 

Todd held him an arms length away from him, sizing Draco up and down. "Methinks you've grown another inch since you went away to that school of yours!" he exclaimed. A careful knock and the door cracked open, a capped head and bright eyes peering around the heavy wood. "Oh! Young Master Malfoy! You're back from school! How wonderful!" and with a clatter of heels, another servant burst into the room and enclosed him in a warm hug. "I missed you too, Hannah!" Draco said, unable to contain his smile. Hannah was Todd's wife and his other personal attendant. Her plump figure and rosy cheeks had brought him much comfort in his younger years. Draco had missed both of them sorely when he first went off to school, but the ache went away more and more as he grew up. 

Todd went to get his trunk while Hannah made Draco sit in his soft leather armchair in front of the fire and tell her about the semester. Todd reappeared with the trunk and a tea set trailing along behind him in mid air. The pair set about unpacking and putting everything in its place while Draco elaborated on his new-found friendships and taking sips of tea. "Tha's wonderful. You need somebody your own age, Drrraco," Hannah said matter-of-factly, hanging up his sweaters. He smiled at the way she said his name. Nobody else in the world could roll her 'r's as well as Hannah could. "Enough about me, what's all the fuss about getting the rooms ready? How many people are staying?"

Hannah pursed her lips as she moved on to folding his knickers. Todd spoke up. "Your father saw it fit that three extra rooms be made up especially early and quite extensively, as well. The guests should be arriving tomorrow in the afternoon."

"And? Who is it?"

"Business associate and family. They're to stay on until a few days after New Year's..."

Nobody said it aloud, but everyone in the room knew it had to do with Dark Arts dealings. Draco decided to change the subject. "How's Demeter doing? I haven't been down to the stables yet."

"I've been exercising her daily for you, Young Master, never fear."

"And Wat? Laddie? Tómas? How are they?" 

"Fine, fine, they are absolutely fine, Draco."

Draco took a sip of his tea and relaxed. He wondered in the back of his head who the guests were going to be, but didn't trouble himself over it too much. _Maybe being home isn't such a bad thing._

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Draco awoke the next morning to Todd pulling open the heavy deep blue draperies. "Good Morn'n, young sir," he said cheerfully. Draco grunted a response. "Hannah has drawn you a bath. And your Father wants to see you in the Dining Room. You're to take your breakfast with him and the Mistress today." Draco pulled the heavy down comforter over his head to block the harsh winter light from his face. Todd stood quietly at the foot of the gigantic bed, tickling his feet and the teenager threw back the off-white silk bed cover. "Alright! I'm up!" he said, crawling out. Todd held open his bathrobe for him to step into, then bowed himself from the room. Draco shuffled to his private bath, which was done in dramatic white and black marble. He stripped and sank into a luxurious bubble bath, but he couldn't enjoy it. Lucius was waiting, after all. 

Somewhat refreshed, Draco opened his wardrobe to find his school robes hanging up neatly next to his summer robes, his dress robes, his dinner robes, a variety of cloaks for all different occasions. A carefully clean but tattered set of robes had been hastily shoved in the far corner on one of the shelves. No doubt Hannah had wanted to hide those from him to spare him the memories of long nights locked in the dungeons, in pain, bleeding, helpless and broken...With no change of expression, he moved a set of off-white silk sheets to cover them completely. 

In the private dining room his mother sat, watching a crystalline fountain spout jets of icy water into a pool below, looking serene. Lucius sat next to her, wearing stately robes of navy blue, reading the _Daily Prophet_ with a pair of gold rimmed reading glasses perched on his aquiline nose. "Ah...here he comes now," he said with false warmth, looking up. Narcissa looked over, too, and gave him a bland smile. Draco sat down opposite them, silent. Lucius folded his glasses delicately, then waited to be served upon. Almost immediately, a quiet maid appeared from the kitchen and served them delicately shirred eggs, kippers, and a jacketed potato each. Close to follow were glasses of orange juice and coffee. Once the servant had left, conversation started.

"Now, Draco, we have guests coming. I want you to keep your head about you and your tongue under wraps, is that clear?"

"Yes sir."

"I want you in the foyer in a state of welcome by noon. Sharp. No excuses. You are to treat the parents with the same respect as me. I daresay that you and your schoolmates can find well enough to do around here and stay out of our hair whilst we make arrangements."

"Yes sir. I understand completely."

"Now then-"

"Lucius, let the boy be. He's only been home for one night." Narcissa gently broke into the conversation and laid a hand quietly on his arm. Draco had finished as much of his breakfast as he'd wanted by now, anyway. "Might I please be excused, Mother? I wanted to look over Demeter this morning."

Lucius nodded his approval and Narcissa smiled cautiously at her son's retreating form. 

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

"DRACO? _DRACO! _GET DOWN HERE AT _ONCE_!!" Lucius bellowed up the staircase. Todd peered around the pantry door at the commotion. Malfoy Senior was pacing angrily and looking at his pocket watch. "Where is he? Fetch him," Lucius growled at him. Todd nodded once and slipped up the back way to Draco's room. Knocking lightly, there was no reply and Todd was slightly worried. He knocked louder, but still no reply. Todd decided to take a liberty and go into the room unannounced. No Draco. He was properly worried now. A quick search of the bedroom turned up nothing; same for the private sitting room adjoining it. The bathroom door was closed, so Todd knocked on it. Still no answer, so he pushed in and saw his charge sitting on the sink in front of the mirror, head on his knees and one hand dropped listlessly down. 

"Draco...?" he asked quietly. The teenager started and held on to the sink to gain his balance before turning around. "Hmmm?" he said, draining his face carefully of any emotion. "What were you doing?"

"I..." Draco looked back at his reflection for a moment, then back to Todd and jumping down, "I was checking myself over for zits. You know. I don't want to be all covered in spots for Father's guests, do I?" Todd ignored the fact that Draco was in his boxers and took him by the chin, inspecting him. "No. I don't see any anyway. You would do well to actually get dressed, young Master, it is nearly 12." Todd slapped him lightly on the cheek and went out. Draco groaned to himself and decided to don deep red robes that he never really got the chance to wear before. He tucked his wand into his sash, and meandered down the stairs, bored. He already could tell it was going to be boring. Crabbe, Goyle, and their families, no doubt. One room for each set of parents and the children grouped into the last one; that's how they usually did it. He just didn't know why they were coming so _early_...

Lucius scowled up at his son. "Why didn't you just take the rest of the holiday?" Draco merely blinked as he stood on the bottom stair, resting his arm on the banister decorated with a garland. Narcissa wafted in from the Library, looking immaculate in a sweeping robe of pale peach and an exquisite rope of pearls around her neck. It hung loosely and complimented her slim figure at every angle. Father and son's eyes popped. "Oh I say...Sissa, you look wonderful..." Lucius moved gracefully and in seconds had her waltzing across the foyer, much to Draco's disgust. He wrinkled his nose as they floated past, Narcissa giggling girlishly. A minute later, the stuffy Head butler, Chris, informed them stuffily that "...Masters and Mistresses Dannen had arrived and were awaiting in the parlour." Lucius immediately dropped Narcissa's arms and made his way to the guests. Draco stared at Chris as though he had sprouted another head. 

"Come, Draco. We don't want to be late." Narcissa held out her arm, waiting to be escorted by her son. Shaking himself out of reverie, he took it and steered her to the parlour.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Ezra Dannen and his wife Vanessa looked unimpressed with the manor so far. Draco could only presume that they had an equally large house. Erik looked as though he'd have rather been anywhere else and Keira was hugging his left arm to her again. Draco hung back with them. Lucius spoke up. "Draco, show your schoolmates their rooms. And keep out of the Study!" With that, the grown ups went into the richly designed room and shut the heavy doors. Keira shuddered. "Such a dark house you have!" she said, leaning against her brother. Draco scowled, then said, "I have no clue where the hell you're sleeping...c'mon..." He trudged upstairs again, motioning them to follow. Todd met up with them at the top of the stairs and bowed.

"Where're they sleeping?" Draco asked rudely, pointing at his friends. "Young Master Erik is sleeping across from you, and Miss Keira is a little ways down the hall, in the Green Room." Draco blinked and led them to his rooms. Todd followed at a respectable distance. Keira gasped and dropped her brother's arm when she entered: an oatmeal coloured plush carpet spanned the room, with a mahogany four poster against the left grey stone wall. The bed had the creme-coloured down bedspread on it and an arrangement of creme and deep blue pillows for decoration. Mahogany end tables were on either side. The blue draperies were tied back with silken cord to allow the harsh light in the huge windows. A golden chandelier hung from the fresco ceiling. Leather armchairs sat in front of a black marble carved fireplace opposite the bed, with merry flames crackling in the polished grate. Erik gave a low whistle. "Nice wardrobe," he commented bluntly.

It sat next to his book case on the near-side wall, truly a piece of work in itself. Draco snorted as Keira walked over to inspect the bathroom in all its splendour. Erik tested one of the arm chairs. "It's nice..." he said, bouncing up and down. Draco sat in another one and kicked off his shoes. "It's too much. I didn't want it all, but Fa-_Lucius_ insisted on giving them to me," he sighed. Todd interrupted. "Would the Master and his friends enjoy a snack? Or is there anything else I can do for you before I go unpack your luggage?" Keira came back and sat in the remaining armchair. Her legs didn't touch the floor because it was so deep and she was so short. Draco raised his eyebrows at them. 

"I'm fine."

"No thanks."

"Thank you, Todd, but we'll just stay up here until we're called for dinner." Todd bowed low and said, "Ring if you are needin' anything at all," and backed from the room. As soon as he was gone, Keira bounded over to Erik and sat on his lap. Draco narrowed his eyes suspiciously but said nothing. Erik sighed and glanced around the room again. "Is this it? Or is there more?"

"Ohhh, there's more, alright, there's _plenty_ more....wait until you see my sitting room."

"You have a sitting room?"

"Yup. And a balcony."

Erik whistled again. Draco smirked. "Ordinarily, they'd be a bit more messy, what with my school stuff lying around and whatnot, but Todd and Hannah must have tossed them under my bed."

"Who's Hannah?" Keira piped up.

"Todd's wife. She's going to be attending you for your stay, and Todd is going to look after you, Erik. Lucius wanted everyone to be satisfied with their own personal slave for a week. They're my personal servants, but they assured him that they wouldn't mind looking after two more teenagers for a week and a half. Of course, it helps that they're getting a bonus in their pay..." Draco remarked dryly. Erik shook his head. "We have a whole wing to ourselves in our house," he said in his quiet way. Keira leaned back against him. Draco shot Erik a quizzical look and his friend sent one back, clearly saying, "I'll explain later." 

"Tell me more about your manor. Like, how is it different from ours and all that jazz."

"For one thing, it's not built to mimic a castle-"

"-It's been in the family for centuries and it was built in Medieval Times."

"My apologies, then. Well, it's more modern looking, to say the least. It's brick, with ivy climbing the walls. Mother likes to redecorate the inside, so I really can't tell you specifically what it looks like. The atmosphere is quite a bit lighter, though...we don't have torches in brackets along the walls to light the way. Our wing is our own and we have adjoining rooms, too. My room is done with all shades of blue, grey, white, and black. The ceiling is painted to look like the night sky. It doesn't change with it, it just looks like there's a bunch of stars on it with a crescent moon. It's not nearly as fancy as yours."

Keira spoke next. "My room is a dusty rose colour with a mural of a unicorn on one wall, looking back over his shoulder." Draco wrinkled his nose at the prissy description, but she shook her head, "It's _NOT_ girlish! How could you think I'd even _like_ something like that? Anyway, my ceiling is painted to look like a cloudy day. It suits my tastes."

Erik started again. "We have what we call the Glass Room next to our rooms. It's really an observatory for Astronomy and Astrology, because Mother is into horoscopes and trying to figure out our destiny and whatnot. Part of it is a balcony with a telescope set up. The glass part is really for winter observations. But our house feels just as cold and unwelcoming as yours, never fear. You'll have to visit sometime." 

Todd bowed himself into the room, just then, saying, "Dinner is bein' served in half an 'our. You might want to smarten yourselves up." Keira jumped up like a jack rabbit, eyes wide. Todd backed from the room and shut the door gently. Erik got up and stretched like a cat. "Does that mean we have to change robes or something?" he asked, interested. Draco sighed, "Only because it's the first night you're here and we're all eating together. After this, we're on our own to eat whenever we feel like it. Unless they 'require our presence' or some such nonsense. If we don't have guests, my family usually wears the same set of robes for the day like a _normal_ family does." Draco scampered out into the hall to show them their rooms. Keira arched her eyebrows when she saw hers.

"Kind of a real 'Slytherin' motif, isn't it?" Draco smirked. The room had a lush green carpet in front of a large craved fireplace, draperies the same emerald colour pulled back from the windows that over looked the East Garden. A grey silk down cover was laid on the bed, which had black throw pillows with silver threads woven into the borders and tassels. The lamps all had green shades. "Lucius always liked this room because it reminded him of the Common Room from school," he remarked. Erik agreed. Keira went to the closet and found all of her things had been put away by Hannah. 

Draco led Eric back down the hall to his room and followed his friend in. "I don't need help getting dressed, Draco," he said wryly. Draco replied, "I wasn't offering. But I also don't think we take as long as a girl to get dressed for dinner, so explain to me why she's so clingy all of a sudden." Having Draco in the room didn't perturb Erik enough to stop him from changing, and Draco wondered why all of a sudden men were showing him their bare chests. "You stereotype Keira too easily. Never underestimate exactly what actions she'll take or how fast, because she will surprise even me sometimes," he paused to pull a deeply purple velvet robe on, so dark that it looked almost black, "Come to my room after we go to bed; I'll tell you then." Draco shrugged and left him to pull a comb through his hair.

Back across the hall in his own room, he flung his red robes on the floor and chose black ones; he didn't feel like being especially colourful in front of everyone for dinner that night. Coming back out into the hall, he saw Erik leaning against the wall, looking bored with his arms crossed. Keira came out of her room just then in robes of sparkling blue, her dark hair half up, the rest tumbling about her shoulders. Draco raised his eyebrows appreciatively. 

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Draco sneaked into Erik's room later that night to find him sitting on his window seat, staring at the moon. "She's scared," he said simply, not looking at Draco still, "She read my latest dream entry, realised exactly what we're here for, and is scared stiff." Draco joined him on the window, also looking at the moon. Erik's eyes held the cold light and illuminated them eerily. Draco waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "Are you scared, too?" he asked gently.

"No...not really...I mean, it was inevitable. It was bound to happen at some point."

"Yeah. I wasn't really scared of getting the Mark until I actually got to the Ceremony."

Erik gave him a strange look, moon reflecting in the unnatural blue of his eyes as he stared into frightful silver ones. "Whoever said anything about joining the Circle? Keira's been promised to someone."

Draco felt the icy feeling in his stomach spread through his veins. "To _who_?" he demanded shrilly. "To some young Death Eater who graduated a few years ago...Chillingworth, remember him? Big burly chap...not much going on upstairs, but a brute nonetheless. I can't remember his first name."

"Warwick. His name is Warwick. I remember him; he used to be a reserve Beater on the Quidditch Team. He was no one to be trifled with."

"Oh dear."

"But you didn't _know_? You weren't told that He was coming?"

"Stop talking in riddles! _Who's_ coming, for Merlin's sake? Chillingworth?"

"No! The Dark Lord! He's coming for the New Year's party."

It was Erik's turn to be surprised. "How can you be sure?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"Lucius has been crowing about it ever since I got home. He's delighted about some ritual they're performing after the party in the Drawing Room and I can only guess that you'll be part of it..."

"Oh shyte..."

"You said it."

They stayed up a few more hours watching the moon set behind the trees, then Draco stole silently back to his room, feeling numb all over.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

At the Christmas Party a few nights later, Keira looked stunning in a form-fitting dress of black velvet and a choker to match. The only jewel she wore was a single diamond centered on the choker. Erik was debonair and looked like a younger version of his father. Already he was as tall as Ezra, with the same aristocratic nose and quiet demeanor. Draco couldn't tell which of them was the one with the child of the whore; they each had some quality that wasn't apparent in either Vanessa _or_ Ezra. Keira was on the short side and rather an imp. The rest of the family was decidedly tall and quiet. Controlled. Yet nobody else had Erik's piercing blue eyes, either, or his particular affinity for staying out of trouble as much as possible. 

Narcissa looked drop-dead gorgeous in another flowing gown of pale lavender with a string of amethysts. Draco danced with her, as was expected of him, after dinner while Lucius smoked a cigar and had a brandy with the rest of his 'business associates'. Erik was dancing with his mother and looked extremely bored. Draco closed his ears to his mother's meaningless prattle, shot him a look over his mother's shoulder and rolled his eyes. Erik grinned back and nodded towards Keira. She had a look of utter contempt as she danced with Blaise. (All of the Slytherins from 4th year and up had been invited with their families for the festivities.) Clearly she had not forgotten, nor forgiven.

Draco started to listen to Narcissa's running commentary again. "...quite a nice girl. It's a shame, though, otherwise I would have spoken to your Father about it. Of course, _her_ family has a bit more going for them in the money department, but it would be a good alliance anyway. Get them more involved in your father's dealings and bump them up a class, I daresay. Have you started looking for any prospects, Draco?" He shook his head, vaguely wondering what she was talking about. "I would have thought you would have jumped at the chance to drop Pansy. I was under the impression that you didn't think very highly of her."

Oh. She was talking about finding somebody to make a future 'Mrs. Malfoy'. Of course. He felt numb again, because Lucius had said if he couldn't find anybody by 6th year, he would set the arrangements with the Parkinson's. Well, it was now half way through 6th year. He'd have to find some excuse and vaguely wondered what Lucius would do to him if he said he was gay and Erik was his boyfriend. He smiled sardonically at the idea and Narcissa gave him a quizzical look. "Was it something I said?" she asked, politely nonplussed. "It's nothing, Mum...forget it," he replied. "Alright. If you say so," she replied dubiously. 

Just then, Lucius appeared at his shoulder. "May I cut in? Thank you," he said curtly and swept his mother away from him. He went to go find his friends. Keira hung on the out skirts of the crowd; she really didn't belong, after all. After a few more hours, all the Ministry workers and officials left, leaving behind parents and the occasional friend that had resurfaced through the years. More alcohol was served and talk flowed more freely. The tables had turned; before it had been that everyone wanted everyone else to think that they despised and abhorred the Dark Arts and all that was associated. Now it was quite the opposite. People drunkenly swore their allegiance to the Dark Lord and that their children would soon join the ranks of the Circle. Ezra made his way up to the band stand with a glass of scotch, seemingly more poised than the rest, as did Lucius. 

"I would like to raise a toast to the host of this marvelous party," he tipped the glass towards the table where Lucius and Narcissa were seated, looking very much like a king and queen holding court. "And to take this opportunity to thank them for allowing us to graciously stay in their home whilst our children become soldiers in the noble, but endless, work of the Circle." There was a tinkle of glass as Keira dropped her champagne glass of punch in shock. Nobody paid any attention. The girls all looked at her in a new light and suddenly, she was revered. Pansy shot her a look of jealousy and hatred. Erik's face was pale as the moon and carefully drained of emotion as his classmates pounded him on the back jovially. Few students ever dared to become a Death Eater while still in school; it was a huge risk. The ones who did were treated with special respect and the Mark on their arm was a badge of honour. 

"Without the Malfoy's continued support and assistance in the endeavour to keep family traditions strong, I'm sure we would not be celebrating our children's coming of age this evening." Ezra raised his glass once more to hearty 'Hear, Hear!'s and downed his scotch in two gulps. "Play on," he told the band leader as he climbed down. Lucius stood up at the head of the table and said, "Now if you'll excuse us, ladies, we men must retire to the drawing room to discuss politics." Draco snorted and turned his attention back to Erik and Keira. Keira seemed to be in shock and her brother was leading her to a chair on the side of the room. The rest of the Slytherin gang held back and was more interested in snitching drinks from the bar. Draco knelt in front of her and Erik patted the back of her hand.

"I didn't think he was serious about getting us in so soon..." she whispered huskily. Draco gave her a sympathetic look and took her other hand in his. Erik knelt down in front of her as well. They stayed there for the rest of the night.

A/N: Merry Christmas my @$$. Cheers.


	12. I Am

Father of Mine, Part XII

author: potionsmaster

rating: PG-13/ moving up to R; I haven't decided yet...innuendo can be a pain, ya know? LoL

****

SPECIAL THANKS: _annakas, Draco Malfoy N Harry Potter, orien, Mandie, Kay, Omniscient, Auroress 13, hippogriff-tamer_

A/N: Cheers to those of you who have been following from the beginning! You have my thanks and a biiiiiiig *BEAR HUG*! I hope you guys like this chapter as much as the others; things keep getting darker and darker for poor "..._Drakie_...", as Pansy likes to call him...*ducks at pillow thrown at her from Draco for use of the hated pet name* hehehe...AAAAAAH!!! *muffled bangs, scrapes, and shuffling are heard as Draco does a flying tackle on authoress*

*Ahem* This is Draco speaking; you'll have to pardon that little scrap you just heard. The author sends her regrets that she can be in control of the keyboard any longer. *smothered shriek of rage* So, yes, anyway...on with the fic! *turns back to authoress* Hush up, you, or I'll tell them about your fascination with the Elves in _Lord of the Rings_ in those what-d'ya-call-'ems...ah, yes, *CENSORED* ficcies....*devil grin* 

*squeal!!*

What?? I censored it!

*growls at Draco*

Oh, yeh, it's in my point of view for this one...

//...// denotes journal excerpts.

**__**

"I Am..."

If I had thought Keira had been clingy before, it was _nothing_ compared to now. I guess I could see where she was coming from, though...being forced to marry and then informed that she was to join the Circle...I would want something to hold, too. Now, however, she's taken to sleeping in Erik's bed at night. After Hannah and Todd check up on them, that is; any odd behaviour on their part is to be reported. It's funny, really. Ezra wanted them to get married at first and now he wants them to not even acknowledge each other half the time. Who knows? Maybe something will come out of their sleeping in the same bed...After all, the whole reason Ezra wanted them to was so that a child of pure Dannen blood would emerge. Perhaps he'll get his wish. *smirk* 

I really must stop thinking like that.

Early in the morning, I pushed open Erik's door and slid in, still in my pajamas. Keira's curled up on his right arm, looking for all the world like she's a three year old who's scared of the monsters under the bed. Erik himself was actually sitting up in bed, scribbling in his black journal. (He's left handed, so it works. He's one of the few who is at Hogwarts.) I enter further into the chamber, careful not to make too much noise.

"Well, what do you two want to do today?" I asked, lounging across Erik's bed. The first time I had ever even asked to sit on his bed, he sad I had might as well sleep there; everyone else seemed to want to. He was joking about the sleeping part...I think...but I got the message: I was welcome to do practically whatever I wanted. 

"I dunno," he sighed, shoving the journal over and placing his quill on the nightstand. //..._dark room, grey flame. Black robes, green embroidery. Hot and cold by turns; Keira's body lifeless on floor. Step forward, two red beams of light from a figure's hood in the centre of the circle. Black out and hear "...I Am..." whispered over and over//_ "What did you smoke last night?" I scowled, "This is almost like an Initiation or an Induction."

"Is it really? I wouldn't know."

"Do you know when it took place? Or how about numbers...colours...anything that stood out in particular?"

"Grey and Red. I don't know the time setting, or I would have written it down."

"This is all you remember? Wow..."

"I'm actually a bit worried that I can't remember more of it. But enough of that...What will come will come and that can be said about dreams as well."

I smiled and perused his notes more carefully; usually there was more to it than a paragraph. Grey meant confusion, red meant anger and passion...black was a void and green was a new beginning, leading me to think he was seeing the rebirth of a person. Maybe he was redefining himself. Who knew? Hooray for them teaching me something about deciphering dreams. Erik was currently trying to rouse his sister. 

Once she was up, she too looked at the ledger and didn't think much of it. "I want to see the stables," she declared. Erik shrugged, getting out of bed. "Naughty boy!" I quipped, eyeing his choice of sleepwear. Boxers and nothing else. _Looks familiar..._ "Bite me," he growled, pulling on a pair of pajama pants. "With relish," I retorted. Keira just looked between us, back and forth, and decided she really didn't want to know. I flipped over onto my back and hung my head off the edge of the bed. "Ok, what time do you want to meet in the foyer, then?"

"Half hour's good."

"Alright then." Keira scampered down to her room to change. I flipped back onto my stomach and watched Erik pull on a tee-shirt. "Your attire, sir...so rich in quality! It must have cost an absolute _fortune_..." I jabbed at him once again. "Alright, I've had e-bloody-nough of this! Shut your trap or face the consequences!" he said, quite exasperated. 

"I'll face the consequences." 

"Fine." With that, he launched himself onto the bed and an all-out pillow fight began. We furiously pummeled each other until-

"HEY!!!" He stole my pillow! That rat fink stole my pillow!! I was defenseless! "Surrender?" he smirked, holding the pillows high above my head. Sheer luck made it so that he was taller than me.

"Never!" I tackled him flat and we ended up sliding down to the floor with a cascade of pillows, blankets, comforters, and laughter. I tried to grab mine, but he was relentless in not giving it back. So I did what anybody would have done: I tickled the bastard! What I didn't count on was him tickling me _back_. I thought the pillow fight was bad enough, but this was something else. And _then_ he reached inside my shirt in order to tickle me better...I couldn't help it; I gave up, I was laughing too hard to care.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!!! _MERCY!!_ Oh, LAWS!!"

...oops....We froze and looked up sheepishly at the source. Lillian, one of the house-keepers, had apparently heard the commotion and had come to investigate. I'll be willing to bet her salary six times over that she wasn't expecting to see two teenaged boys lying on top on one another. In their pajamas, no less. Keira's face popped around the doorframe to see what was worth all the screaming and ended up falling over in laughter. Ears flaming, Erik got up and set about gathering all the bedclothes strewn around the room. I'm pretty sure I was blushing just as much as I stood in front of Lillian imposingly. 

"Breathe one word of this to _anyone_ and I'll personally cut out your filthy, gossiping tongue..." I threatened icily, every bit as Lucius as I could manage. She managed to bob a courtesy and ran back down the hall. Probably down to the kitchens to have a nip or three with the cook, no doubt....

"Should I even bother to ask...?" Keira smirked from the doorway. "No," I told her sullenly, taking off my shirt and assessing the damage done to it. Erik had managed to rip it almost completely in his attempts to get me to give up my ploy. "Right. I'm booting both of you out so I can get dressed in peace, for once..." he grumbled, crossing his arms. "Alright, alright, we can take a hint..." Keira snorted, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me to my room.

"I generally prefer not to have an audience when _I_ change, as well, Keira, so _if_ you don't mind..." I said, rather pointedly. She caught my eyes with hers and locked in. 

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you two were flirting." And then she was gone, leaving me with my mouth hanging open in surprise.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Out in the stables, the air was little warmer inside the edifice than out. Keira took great delight in feeding Wat and Laddie carrots that we nabbed from the crisper while Erik stood face to muzzle with Tómas. Demeter was off gallivanting in the snow that had fallen a few nights ago. Silly Horse of Mine...she deserves what little joy she has, though. "What does 'Wat' stand for?" Keira asked, patting the plucky little thing on his nose.

"Watch Tower. Laddie is short for Vladmir. They're my mother's driving ponies, but she hardly ever uses them." 

"Is that why they're so short?"

"No! Why?"

"They just seem shorter than that other one over there..." and she gestured over to the arrogant black horse that was currently in a staring match with Erik. I shook my head, smirking. _All Erik does is stare at things half the time..._ "Naw, it's just that Tómas is exceptionally tall...he's Lucius's, of course." Keira turned to look at me, hand still on the soft liver brown nose. "Where's yours, then?" she asked quietly. "She's out in the field, more than likely, trying to warm up or something."

"What's she look like?" Tómas ended up losing patience with Erik and his queer staring habit and promptly snorted in his face, turning tail and ambling out his back hatch to join Demeter. Erik wiped his face, looking less than amused, and turned to the two plucky little horses vying for attention. "Well, she's dark grey; kind of like the colour of steel, I guess you could say."

"You made a rhyme! You're a poet and you didn't know it..." Erik broke in sardonically. Keira rolled her eyes and started patting Laddie. "Anyway...Tell me more about each of them."

"Well, Tómas was given to Lucius by my grandfather when Lucius graduated from University. So that would make him about 26 years old this October...or something...He's a Spanish Barb, and he's probably one of the taller ones you'll meet; 68 inches at the shoulders to be exact. The only spot of white you'll find on him is a dot on his left shoulder; it's funny. It looks something like a snowflake." 

Keira nodded and Erik moved into the tack room, exploring. "Wat and Laddie are full brothers, so that's why they look so similar. Hackneys. They're 14 and 15 years of age; Laddie's a year older and Wat is an inch higher. As I said before, they're trained to be driving ponies for my Mother, but she hardly uses them, so I used to ride them occasionally. I got Demeter for Christmas in fourth year. She was about 4 at the time, so it's really a silly coincidence that her age is the year of school we're in. She's dark grey now, but her colour will lighten as she gets older; that's usually how it is with dapple grey horses, I'm told...She's got trim little white socks on each of her feet."

Erik came back with a dusty picture frame in his hands and a quizzical look on his face. "Then who's this?" he asked, handing me the photo. Peering through the dirty haze, I saw myself on a perky little white mare, jumping over a natural fence of brush and logs and cantering off the edge, galloping through the background, and coming to do it all over again. I felt my chest tighten and my jaw clench as I remembered exactly why I was given Demeter.

"That's Sabine," I said, perhaps a little more coldly than I should have, thrusting it back my friend. "And?" Keira pushed, wiping away the grime with her glove, peering intently at my beautiful Arabian who was senselessly and brutally picked on, which ultimately led to her death. "And _what_?" I snap, "She was mine and we had to put her down! Enough said!" I felt the thickness of sorrow catch in my throat and I turned forcefully back to the two dark brown horses with white stripes painted their noses...So cute they were; it was impossible for anyone to hate them. 

Blinking furiously, I held back my sorrow and my pain, trying to bury it like I had been able to do for the last few years. Erik, sensing discomfort, glanced at his watch, then said, "Well, kiddies, it's time to go back inside and warm up. We wouldn't want to smell like the animals for the 'festivities' tonight, now would we?" Without another word, he turned and made his way back to the manor; Keira hurrying to catch up and cling to his arm. I stay for a minute, gathering myself, then followed my friends back out into the cold, hard world.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Once again, we were to be dressed in our finest for the New Year's Party being held. (If possible, we were to be even _more_ dressed up.) This time, no children were allowed; excepting myself and the Dannens, of course. On further reflections, I don't think any of us were innocent enough to be called 'children' any longer. The Ball Room once again was swarming with Ministry officials; this time Fudge himself was a guest at our table. _That should win brownie points_, I thought nastily, poking my veal unenthusiastically, _It's the same every year._

Keira looked particularly stunning in another form-fitting dress with spaghetti straps. This one didn't hug her figure all the way to the ground like the last one, though, the skirt flowed off her tiny waist like red-tinted water. It was almost indescribable, it was..._ethereal_ of sorts...it had an undertone of deep red, but the highlights were a fascinating shade of blue. I asked her about it and she showed me two layers of fabric; the bottom one was the red satin and the top was the blue sheer to make it look like it was one and the same. Earlier tonight, though, Erik and I heard a particularly nasty encounter between Ezra and his daughter. 

"What do you think you're doing? Flaunting yourself in public like that!" he had said, gripping the top of her pale upper-arm in a vice-like grip and shaking her. 

"I'm not flaunting! Mother said I should wear it!" she had protested, trying not to give away how much pain she was in. Ezra shook her again, growling. We couldn't hear what he had said, but it made Keira scoff and snap, "Well, why not? It's the only time I'm going to be able to wear short sleeves in public again, unless the Dark Lord falls once more!" Erik winced, but didn't dare move from our hiding place behind the tapestry. Ezra roared with rage and flung her into the wall. He stalked off, muttering about incorrigible brats. Keira breathed shakily and checked herself over in the mirror that just happened to be on the opposite wall. Her arm had angry red finger marks on it, but other than that, she seemed fine. 

After she had left, Erik and I came out into the hall and looked at each other, wide-eyed. Saying not a word, we went back to the party. Ministry officials had begun to leave and it was going to be hell on earth soon; I could feel it. To my surprise, Chris announced stuffily, "Mr. Severus Snape," and bowed low, allowing a tall dark figure to enter the room. I almost laughed in relief to see my mentor. He was still wearing his traveling cloak with the hood still up and covering his face in shadows. Lucius jumped up, jovial.

"Severus, old man! How good of you to come!"

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this gala occasion for more than eight years in a row, never fear, Lucius..." and handed his cloak carelessly to Chris. 

"Yes...well, then...Do have some refreshment, Severus...You're too late for dinner, but there are platters of hor d'ourves, enough to feed an Army," Mother said graciously.

"One is nothing, if not fashionably late, Narcissa, as I'm sure you'd know," Professor Snape said with a particularly sly grin. His sarcastic comment was met by chuckles and my mother blushing, "Of course!" Erik elbowed me sharply in the ribs and nodded towards Fudge. The Minister of Magic was looking far less excited at Snape's company than anybody else was. In fact, his face was nothing less than disdain, which we found to be absolutely hysterical. "Yes, well...jolly good fun and all, Lucius, but I really must be getting back to London...loads of work to do, you know, life isn't all fun and games..." he said, disgruntled. 

"Surely you don't mean to work tomorrow!" Lucius cried in pretend horror, an excellent actor if ever there was one, "It's the holiday!" Fudge firmly shook his head and Chris appeared with his cloak and hat. "I'd best be off, Lucius, I've a meeting tomorrow of _great_ importance," he grunted, trying, and failing, to sound important. Lucius let his face fall into a slight frown. "If you're certain, then, I wish you the best of luck...with your _business_ meeting..." he said, undertone implying. Fudge simply glanced at him, then hurried out of the room. As soon as he was gone, gales of laughter followed him. 

"_Business_ meeting, HA! I'll bet it's some pretty lass he hired!"

"Wouldn't you say?!?!" More shouts and jokes like that were the only thing that was said for the next few minutes.

"Oy! _I_ know!! He's to meet with _Dumbledore_, the old fool! Then the two o' _them_ will-"

"-That's enough..." Lucius said, holding up his hand, looking at Snape's face. It had been amused during the bantering back and forth until Dumbledore had been mentioned; then it had become rather fixed. Apparently, Lucius had some understanding of his feelings. "D'you think that Snape's arrival had something to do with Fudge leaving so fast...?" Erik whispered in my ear. "More than likely," I murmured back to him. "What're we whispering about?" Keira breathed, breaking into our cozy little conversation. "Nothing that concerns you," Erik hissed. "Fine, be secretive, then," she huffed.

Lucius stood up, glanced around the table, and then said, "Well, everyone who should have left by now has. Now if the ladies don't mind, we men must take pains and leave for the Drawing Room..."

Erik shot Keira a hasty look, but she was pointedly ignoring him, eyes fixed on the glacial figure at the head of the table. Mother nodded once, then motioned for the rest of the women not involved directly in the Circle to follow her. Lucius's eyes fell at once to the three of us at the other end of the table. The other Death Eaters looked at him expectantly; anticipating what was going to happen next. Raising one elegant hand, he motioned for me to lead my friends to the front. I had no choice but to obey. 

Lucius put a cold hand on each of their shoulders, holding them in front of him, on display for the rest of the table to behold. "I give you the two newest recruits," he said, voice oddly flat. I looked desperately at Professor Snape. His face showed no emotion, but his eyes were glittering. I knew he was hurting deep down; that he had failed to prevent two more from falling into dark dealings. Erik's shoulders hunched slightly, both had their eyes downcast. The others thought it was modesty, but I knew them better. It was fear and shame. "Come," Lucius stated and dragged them off, Ezra close behind. The others followed in a somewhat noisy procession to the Drawing Room.

The walk must have felt like the march to your own execution.

The huge, heavy oak doors were propped open, letting the entire procession into the darkened room. A leather armchair sat in front of the fire with a cringing figure beside it. I only knew the balding man by the name of Wormtail. I really didn't think much of him. The fire in itself was a bit worry-some; it wasn't giving off heat. Only light. But it was a cold, shivering light...it was grey. The doors closed with a resonating, thick clash and Keira's face flickered. Their fate was sealed now; it was accept it or face death. We arranged ourselves in a circle around Lucius, Erik, Keira, and Ezra; looking behind us on the floor and finding our black hooded robes ready and waiting. Silently, we put them on and waited...

Lucius and Ezra put on their robes, as well, then draped two more around Erik and Keira's shoulders. They were embroidered richly with forest green threads and gave a sense of power to everyone. 

//_...dark room, grey flame...black robes, green embroidery...centre of the circle....//_

Wormtail was wringing his hands nervously, watching the proceedings and the armchair in turns. Lucius turned to face Keira and Ezra to his son; both clapping their hands on their opposite's shoulders. 

"Are you ready to proceed?"

Keira and Erik stared straight into the adults' eyes. Each was scared stiff; I could _feel_ it. I almost could hear their thoughts, it seemed. Keira's eyes were so wide, I thought they would fall our of their sockets. Erik's lips had the bluish tint to them again.

"...._yes_..." they said in hushed tones. There was no turning back now. Ezra and Lucius forcibly turned them around to face the back of the armchair. Wormtail winced, and turned the chair around, clearly not wanting to do so, the chicken. The Dark Lord peered out at us with his fiery eyes from deep within his hood; silent. Cold. Uncaring. 

Slowly, he stood up, folds of dark cloth rippling from him like the stink of evil did. He glared at us individually, one by one, then focused entirely on the two frightened figures in front of him. They regarded the floor as if their life depended on it. 

"_So_..." He began icily, "You are about to join in the Service of the Dark Lord. Have you any objections?" Each was wise enough to shake their heads _no_; it would have been suicide to state the obvious. You-Know-Who flipped back His hood and His ashen, reptilian face was seen by all. Keira shook slightly and Lucius squeezed her shoulder reassuringly; one of the only times I've seen him be human. 

"To be Inducted into the Dark Circle has a price. You forfeit your life to _me_ and only to _me_. You do my bidding and my will. Your services shall be rewarded when they are appreciated and well done, or they will be punished if they do not satisfy me. 

"You will do as I say and you will not question it. I am the provider. I give you the joy of cleaning the filth from this world! I am the Light in which all people of wizarding blood shall see by. By entering my service, _you_ are the ones who shall carry out my promise. It is _you_, dear children, who shall free your own people. I am simply the one to whom all will turn to. _I_ am the only option. 

"I am your guide. Your leader... Your _protector_. 

"_I_ am the way. The _truth_...The _life_...

"_I_ _am Lord Voldemort_."

The words rolled around the room like thunder, but they were barely more than harsh whispering. They seemed to burn themselves on our brains. //_..."I Am..."_//

"Now then..." He continued, "You each will be required to take the oath and swear yourself eternally. You are to answer, '_I do_' in response. Take a knee..."

Erik and Keira sank onto one knee in front of Him. 

"Do you swear your undying allegiance to me, and to those of the Circle? To hold in the highest regards above all else, including your own death if that be the case?"

"I do..."

"Do you swear to hold in your heart the will to dominate the scum of the Earth?"

"I do..."

"Do you swear, by your life or death, to protect your brethren from harm?"

"I do..."

"Do you willingly bind yourself to me; without regrets?"

"I do."

"Then rise and look me in the face, my Death Eaters." They shared a half-glance and rose as one, lifting their chins to view His terrible visage. The Dark Lord turned to Ezra just then. "I'm sure that they will be a boon to the Circle, my faithful friend..." He turned back to face His new soldiers. "Hold out your left arm, my dear..." He said, almost kindly, to Keira, forked tongue flickering out of His mouth. Her large eyes were glassy as she regarded Him. 

The Dark Lord pressed his wand gently to her arm and a hiss surrounded everyone.

"..._morsmordre_..."

I squeezed my eyes shut at the anguished cry of pain, trying to block the memories of _my_ induction to the circle...

__

He looked at me, almost hungrily, as He pressed His wand to my arm, scarlet eyes boring into mine, burned in my retinas. They would haunt me for weeks later. It was almost as if He was daring me to turn away. I couldn't. He had me hypnotised. Then the aching pain began. It started with the skin burning, burning so hot...I thought I would faint right there from the intensity of it. Then it began to bleed through to the muscles, veins, and sinews of my wrist. I felt the blood turn black as it flowed past, turning my heart to the same darkened state.

Red exploded into black starbursts and I could concentrate on nothing but those eyes peering straight into my soul and the pain searing my arm. Agonising seconds later, the brand reached the bones. I thought right then and there if I ever had the crazy urge to cut myself open just to see what the inside of me looked like, I would find the Dark Mark branded on the bone itself. The blood inside me would run as black as the night I seek refuge in and my heart would be rotten.

Then, as suddenly as the agony had started, it ebbed away, leaving me with amazing clarity of though and an almost thoroughly new perspective on life. Blinking rapidly, I saw the Dark Lord smirking at my reaction. He was pleased; I had been strong. And I knew right then that I would never be able to entirely refuse him.

A piercing shriek shook me out of my reverie, drawing my attention to the centre of the Circle. Keira's face was so white...I felt so bad that she had to go through this. The Dark Lord had removed his wand and Keira had grasped her arm to her chest, breathing raggedly; trembling for the energy gone. With a final gasp, she slumped to the floor, completely spent. Erik's face was equally as pale, but he had a distinct look of hatred and determination as he stepped forward, brought forth his arm, sleeve rolled up. 

//..._Keira's body lifeless on floor...step forward, two red beams of light...the centre of the circle..._//

Once again, the quiet incantation was said. Erik grabbed his arm and staggered, veins sticking out of his neck in an unnaturally eerie manner. He uttered no cry of pain, yet I could hear him scream in his mind. He bit his lip to suppress any noise at all. Long seconds ticked by as the Mark worked its way into his system. Finally, the Dark Lord removed his wand and tucked it back up his sleeve. Erik reeled, but regained his bearings. There was blood on his lip.

The silence in the room was oppressing. 

Ezra bent down and gathered Keira up in his arms. Her limp body was silvery in the grey flames. Erik stood solidly, glaring stonily at Him. You-Know-Who laughed quietly, its hissing reaching clammy fingers in the backs of our minds as he pulled up his hood and faced the fire again, hands clasped behind his back. 

"...Welcome to reality, Young Death Eater...You are ordered to disperse."

The Circle broke up as silently as it had formed. Ezra carried Keira as far as the main stairwell, then turned and dumped her into her brother's arms.   
"Do as you will with her," he said curtly, before going off to find Lucius, Narcissa, and Vanessa. Erik and I hurried up the stairs as fast as we could and laid her on my bed. "Erm...now what?" I asked uncertainly. Erik's eyes darkened and he sighed, resigned. "We have to get her dressed for bed. I doubt if she's in a state to do it herself..."

All I did was just look at him. _Excuse me_??? I must have heard wrong. "Can't we call Hannah or someone?" I asked, disbelief etched all over my face. Both of us jumped at the knock on my door. Immediately, I made myself icy and detached.

"Enter."

The door creaked open and Professor Snape's head came into view. "Am I disturbing anything...?" he asked warily, "Because I can leave if I am..." I flew to him. "I should say not! Keira's still out cold!" I exclaimed. Erik just watched, politely nonplussed. I grabbed my father's hand and dragged him over to the bed. 

"Look!" I yelled, "Just _look_ at what they did to her!!" Erik glanced at me and stepped back, allowing Professor Snape to examine her. He gently poked and prodded, checking her pulse and looked at her eyes, all with an expressionless quiet. Like a great shadow, he stood up, throwing us all into relative darkness. "She should come out of it within a few days. She's in shock. If she doesn't come 'round in two days time, send word to me and I'll come with a revival potion and maybe some supplements," he said with a closed look about his face. Erik nodded once to show he'd heard and turned his attentions back to unfastening her new robe. 

"Is there anything either of you want to say?" Erik snapped his head around, regarding my mentor with cool disinterest. "About what?" he said sharply.

"Anything at all."

Erik looked him up and down, judging if he should say anything.

"Why did you join?" he asked, still with the razor edge to his voice.

"In short, I was searching for something..." came the soft, almost shameful reply.

"And did you find it?" Erik demanded savagely, "Did you?"

"No...I didn't." 

The quiet hatred and shame in the tone seemed to take Erik by surprise and shut him up a good while. "I think you'll have to excuse the tempers and words tonight, Professor...it's a highly stressful time for each of us and we are all deprived of peace in some way or form," he said softly, averting his eyes back to his sister's prone figure. Professor Snape nodded and turned to go, but I stopped him. 

"What were you looking for?"

"Something worth nothing to you and everything to me."

With that, he slipped his hood up and disappeared with a swish of the black cloak.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Hades, why couldn't Keira handle it? Erik did fine; better than me, almost! I'm so confused...I thought Father would help me feel less horrible about everything. His words at the beginning of the year rang back to me, clear as if they had been spoken moments before. "The worst has happened...now things can only get better..." I knew in my heart that the worst had _not_ happened. It was still to come. I could tell Erik thought the same. Perhaps I was coming closer to reaching the level he and Keira were on. I hoped so...

After the whole escapade of undressing her and setting her in my bed, Erik and I retreated to his room. I wanted to tell him I knew how he felt. I wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone. But I didn't know how. Word evaded me that night. There was no moon, reflecting the darkness that had decidedly settled over Malfoy Manor. The mirror could offer no condolence to me. I have a reflection of myself sitting by my side now; at least for the moment. So different is the general mood we're in since the last happy encounter in this room. I wish I could forget the numb feeling and just lose myself in the background. Somehow, that possibility seems highly unattainable. 

Thoughts are as troubled as the water in the fountains my mother loves to watch. I can feel it. Snatches of what he's thinking come to me in a mix of words; nothing in particular is distinguishable. I honestly think that I could fall into the upper level the Dynamic Duo is on. On second thought, it's not so much _words_ that get sent to me, or to them _from_ me, but pictures, memories, sounds, smells even, that make up what they're feeling or thinking or wishing. I think if anything should happen to either of them, I'd be very put out...I consider them as my own brother and sister and Professor Snape as the father to us all. He didn't say it in words, but I knew that he'd take them under his wing like he did me. 

"My head hurts almost as much as my arm does.." I heard Erik interject sullenly, breaking all thought processes.

"Why?" I looked over at him and his eyes were a dark shade of azure, murky and strangely beautiful. He shrugged and started rubbing his temples. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him. I took silence for consent.

"Does your mother ever hold you?" I was rewarded with a veeeeeeery strange look.

"Does yours?" came the curt response. I shook my head, then, "Did you ever _want_ for her to hold you?"

"Not really...." I could tell by his voice that he wasn't being entirely truthful to himself about something. Then he surprised me with a question of his own.

"Did you ever want somebody to hold you? In general, I mean, not necessarily your mother, but just someone you could confide in and they would tell you everything would come out alright in the end?"

"Yes..." _What was he getting at now? _ I wondered where my random questioning was going to land me.

"And did you ever find that person?"

"No." Ok, now I had a slight idea...

"Just so you know, I'd be there for you if...if you'd be there for me..." Erik's voice was getting quieter and quieter; almost shy. I stared at him; shocked. He kept his face turned to the great black sky and was carefully not making eye contact. I was honoured that he would choose me to carry that kind of weight and he truly became my best friend in that moment. I knew he would hold true to his word and I was practically speechless. After some time of watching him struggle with himself, I broke the heavy silence.

"...do you want someone to be there for you now...?" 

He didn't reply. Erik looked down at his hands, unhappiness on his pale visage. I regarded him in a new light; even the people who never frown eventually break down. My invincible friend had showed me his weakness: his helpless feeling. And in doing so, he put his absolute trust in me. What a head rush.

Seconds ticked by and still nothing. "Erik..." I leaned over and shook his shoulder gently. Almost imperceptibly, he nodded and turned towards me. I couldn't help but pull him to me as he cried into my shoulder with all the hurt, the angst, the uncertainty, the unshed tears of living in this life we were given. His tears soaked my shirt, but I didn't give a fuck. After a good while, I heard him mutter, "...how unmanly...." and start to sit up. I pulled one of the seat cushions onto my lap and made him put his head on it. I don't know why I did; it just seemed right. The silence was broken by an occasional sniffle and I passed my boredom by playing with his hair.

__

Hades, I've gone soft...Here I am, comforting somebody by having their head_ in my lap and I'm running my fingers through his _hair_ nonetheless...if they could only see me now..._

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

"Hey Erik..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in fate?"

"...."

"Seriously. Do you?"

"I guess so....it just works in really fucked up ways sometimes."

"Well put."

I let him be after that and eventually he dropped off into a dreamless sleep, his even breathing peaceful and calm. I put my head against the cold glass and go over the night's events.

__

Oh Lord, what have we done...?

A/N: YAY! I'm FREEEEEEE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! *ahem* Anyway. Yes, it is I! Your fearless author! Back from the crusades of...of...of being bound up in a closet by a book character!! Stats as of right now: School has started and with it starts my year from hell. Senior Year Ho!! With that comes the duty of being a Drum Major in band (yes, I admit it, I'm a band nerd...heeee), Editor of the yearbook, FIRST Robotics team, Drama club, and TRACK. ON TOP OF that, I'm also trying to arrange a year of foreign exchange to my beloved England. So, chapters might be few and far between, but I will be trying as hard as I humanly can to post. Cheers to y'all who understand that...*points to neat saying below*

**__**

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul...


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